Slipping Off the Wagon...Spending Time in the Mud

Didn't I just say YESTERDAY, "I'm not going to eat the food that's on my list"??  You know, the food I've found out I'm ALLERGIC to??  The food I have found out makes me feel like crap??

Well, the best laid plans....  I made a huge banana pudding to take to a 4th of July cookout-and didn't even so much as lick the beater blades, not even so much as a taste of the Cool Whip or Nilla wafers.   After I made it, I had a spinach/blueberry/rice protein/almond milk smoothie for breakfast.  Then I came home from church and made a salad for lunch.  I used more spinach, peeled and cut up some cucumbers and carrots, threw in come Canadian bacon and topped it off with Basalmic vinegar and a touch of olive oil.  I was sitting there all proud of myself because what I really wanted was egg salad on wheat bread (all bad for me).

My husband was cooking up some french fries and asked me if I wanted some.  I decided it was fine to have a couple of them...and did even though I had written in my food diary twice last week that I was sick of eating "garbage" food like french fries and potato chips.  (They don't contain anything that's on my allergy list, and feel like a "treat" but I don't really like them...do you know what I mean?)  Anyway...as I was eating my third fry, I told my husband they didn't taste as good as they have in the past.  He said, "well, it must be from using PEANUT oil instead of Crisco".....PEANUTS are on "the list".  Darn it.

Well...I was thinking it shouldn't really matter, after all, it's not like I ate peanuts.  Am I stupid?  It was almost an instantaneous thing-my nose ran, my throat hurt and I got really sleepy.  What did I do...ate more of the yucky fries...because if I'm already feeling bad, I KNOW I'm going to eat some of that banana pudding I made this morning!!

I was really trying to make good choices....but here I am planning my food binge.  I'm like a recovering alcoholic who's planning what drinks to have at the bar tonight.  How can I seriously be planning out something I know will make me feel like I've been run over by a truck??  Well...to answer my own question...because I feel like I slipped off the wagon so I might as well "enjoy" rolling around in the muddy muck while I'm down here.

I'll jump back on first thing in the morning.....

Thanks for stopping in, come again soon!
:D