Saturday, April 20, 2013

Riding the Coaster of Injury

Runaway Reptar Roller Coaster at Dreamworld
I'm going on about four and a half months of being injured.  I think I've run the gamut of emotions.  Mostly I'm just tired of it hurting.  Yes, I "could" stop working out...and it would still hurt.

Yes, it hurts worse after I work it (any kind of work-running, biking, TRX, and especially swimming), but it also hurts when I just sit.  And...yes, I've taken time COMPLETELY off from ANY kind of workout at all. still hurt at the end of that time.

I've tried pushing through (it hurts worse).  I've tried taking it easy and consistent.  I've tried easy and sporadic. still hurts.  I've had some really great workouts only to have it hurt again a few hours later, or the next day.

I've tried chiropractic care, physical therapy, and have seen an orthopedic doctor who put me on steroids, and gave me a steroid injection.  Something is wrong in there.  I have an appointment with another doctor for a second opinion a week from Monday.

There are times I think I'm just being silly and that it's really not "that bad" and I try to just ignore it...but have you ever tried to ignore a screaming child?  Yeah, it's a little like that.  I can't ignore something that's really there!

There are times I think maybe I really should just give up.  Okay...those times amount to seconds in a week.  Honestly, the thought of giving up this thing I have come to love so much would be like losing a limb!

One of the guys in my Spin class asked me to write about how I have been feeling throughout this whole process because a lot of people write about getting hurt and then they write about getting over being hurt, but very few people write from the pit.  I've sat down many times to attempt to write it all out, but it's harder than I'd like it to be because it has me focus on the white elephant in the room.  What if it never goes away.  What if there's isn't a time I can write about getting over being hurt.  What if this is it?  What if the choice is either give up working out and not hurt AS bad, or keep working out in pain?

The positive side of me says that's not going to happen.  There's a reason this is feeling the way it is and someone can find it and fix it.  ...but I do know a lot of people who live with chronic pain.  If I'm going to be one of them, then I'm going to live with it while I'm running, and biking, and lifting weights, and, yes, even swimming.

But, the truth is, there's a reason why.  For me that reason is faith.  If you read The Competitor's Creed on the side bar of the blog...that says it well.  Not everyone is called in the same fashion and not everyone has the same gifts.  I believe completely I'm right where I need to be.  Right now that is struggling through an injury I don't understand.  Life could be SO much worse.  

1 Cor 9: 24-27 says "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.  Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.  Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.  No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."

With that...I'm going to go for a run and enjoy this body I have.  Thanks for stopping in, come again soon.  :D