Diligent

I woke up this morning after a night filled with an anxiety dream about not being able to sleep.  I took up arms against the thoughts producing such angst and began listing in my mind all the

Things I KNOW (about the race Saturday):

1.  I have trained properly.  More than that, I've trained well.  The Rocket City Marathon Training from Fleet Feet has been top notch.  I followed the well thought out plan fairly closely (except the paces in the beginning).
2. I might not be able to control the weather, but I've got clothes for just about any probable scenario.  Since I'm in my home town I can toss off layers with reasonable confidence I will get the stuff back.  (And...weather.com is assuring me it should be near perfect conditions for a marathon, high of 45 low of 27, sunny...I'll ignore the wind prediction for now...)
3. I'll have a lot of friends on the course, running, volunteering and cheering.  THAT will be nice.  Instead of looking at people who are cheering on the stranger running next to me, I'll have some people all along the course who will be cheering for me. 
4. I have been moving toward this goal for two years.  In 2009 I remember coming home from Christmas shopping at Best Buy when we were stopped by a traffic cop at the intersection of Governor's and Gallatin.  I watched as several runners passed and told my husband, "I'm going to do that.  I'm going to run a marathon."  (I had planned on doing it last year, but realized this is not an end goal, this is a step in the walk of a lifetime.)

I began thinking more about that last point, how much my life has been transformed in the last two year.  Just two years ago I weighed almost 20 pounds more.  My resting heart rate was probably 20 beats per minute faster.  I couldn't jog to the end of my street without getting out of breath.  I couldn't "hike" the South Loop of Monte Sano (about 3.5 miles) in an hour.  I couldn't have run a mile if my life depended on it.  Yet, I made the decision I would run a marathon.

In a post about WHY I would want to do such a thing as this, I said:

Setting a goal that will not be achieved for a whole year really involves a change in lifestyle.  In my mind, running this marathon will be an outward symbol of the me I've come to know on the inside--someone who CAN "go the distance".

(Little did I know then just how much of a "change in lifestyle" I would have.)   As I was pondering, my phone buzzed with an incoming email, the Merriam-Webster Word of the Day.  Now, if you click on that link, you'll get the current WOD, but, for today, December 7, 2011, it's: 

diligent

Usually I don't read the definition for a word I already know, but under the circumstances, I read every word:

\DIL-uh-junt\  adjective: characterized by steady, earnest, and energetic effort : painstaking.  

• DID YOU KNOW?

You're more likely to be diligent about something if you love doing it. The etymology of "diligent" reflects the fact that affection can lead to energetic effort. The word, which entered English in the 14th century by way of Anglo-French, descends from the Latin verb "diligere," meaning "to value or esteem highly" or "to love." Of course, you don’t need to care for the task at hand in order to be diligent, but it certainly does help! (emphasis mine)

What a great reminder.  I set this particular goal to be an outward symbol of an inward change.  No longer am I quitter.  I will persevere (intransitive verb: to go on resolutely or stubbornly in a state, enterprise, or undertaking in spite of counterinfluences, opposition, or discouragement) with diligence.

 
I think I might sharpie those two words on my arms.

Thanks for stopping in; come again soon!
:D

Getting High

Let me be clear...I've never done any kind of drugs before...unless you count drinking alcohol, which I think some people classify as a drug, but I actually don't....and unless you count prescriptions taken as directed by a doctor (which I don't think ANYONE would call "doing drugs").  However I believe I can still say, the high I get from exercise is WAY better than any high from drug out there.

First of all...uh, hello!!  It's LEGAL!!  I don't have to be worried about being arrested for partaking in my high of choice.  I don't have to worry about drug testing if/when I ever go back to work  I won't ever have to spend time in jail or pay a fine for it.  I won't ever have to lie about doing it (unless I get hurt and my doctor tries to tell me to stop working out, then I probably will be FORCED to lie...).

My "drug" doesn't give me a hangover of any sort.  There's not (that I've experienced) any (direct) negative consequences of coming down from endorphins.  I've never had a headache or had to go through detox.  One could argue overuse injuries could be equated to a "hangover" of sorts...but I would disagree.  I can't come up with anything clever as to why I disagree, but I'm sure there's a difference somewhere!!  Also...there's no way (that I know of) to overdose on endorphins.  ((Maybe overuse injuries could be considered an overdose??))

The process of obtaining my high doesn't have me sticking needles in my arm, heating anything up (other than my muscles!), making any concoctions (other than mixing my EFS), or inhaling anything other than fresh air.

The funny thing is...if I were to have this conversation with real drug addicts, they would likely make the argument they get high quicker and easier; that my high is hard work and takes time.  While this is true, I won't every look back and regret getting "high" on endorphins.  I don't know of anyone who could say the same about drugs.  I would argue their high has long term damaging effects whereas my high has long term healthful effects. 

My way might seem harder, however when you boil it all down, and look at the whole picture, mine is the easier route to take to get high.

Thanks for stopping in.  Come again soon, dude!!!

:D

Motivational Quotes

A friend of mine posted a quote on FaceBook...

"Your biggest challenge isn't someone else. It's the ache in your lungs and the burning in your legs, and the voice inside you that yells "CAN'T", but you don't listen. You just push harder. And then you hear the voice whisper "can".  And you discover that the person you thought you were is no match for the one you really are."

I wanted to see who said it so I Googled...and found a real gem of a website: http://www.tonystocker.com/misc/motivational.html.  In fact, I LOVE this site so much I'm not only book-marking, I'm going to put the link right on my computer's desktop.  There are so many great quotes on there I'm a little overwhelmed!

The reason motivational quotes are so inspiring is because they resonate with something inside of us.  The words my friend posted on FaceBook spoke to something deep within me that has been fighting to get out...something that is breaking the surface--that still small, but ever growing, voice that whispers "can".

I've been telling everyone I'm coaching, the biggest challenge to running is not your body-it's your mind.  I have come to believe the people who run well are the ones who have learned to listen to their bodies, not the chatter in their heads.  I haven't met a runner yet who doesn't have the chatter. I think the difference is where the chatter comes from.  For many of us, it's internal, but for some it's external.  How we overcome the chatter is the same...doing "it" anyway.

Eric Charette (siriusultrarunner.blogspot.com) says this:

I'm just an ordinary person with average abilities striving to do extraordinary things and through hard work, every day I get a little closer and if by sharing my experiences with you, it enriches your life, then my work is complete.

Check out his latest blog entry on his experience attempting to run the Delano Park 50 Mile race.  He  says, "We all have our own personal kryptonite and mine lies above my shoulders."  I think that's true of most people....but some people either have stronger kryptonite in their heads, or they just haven't strengthened enough to overcome the effects.  I believe, since none of us are Superman, we CAN certainly overcome the effects of kryptonite.

I started to say I am not saying people can do anything at all...but the more I think about it, the more I disagree with my own initial thought.  Here's the thing-no matter what the obstacle is, there is someone out there who has overcome it.  People with NO LEGS run.  Okay....there's a guy with only half an arm (ONLY half an arm, the other one is completely missing) who competes in triathlons.  He placed 674/728 in his second tri--and he was the only physically challenged athlete in the race.  This video is interesting, although a little long...if you can't watch it all, skip ahead to 3:50 and then again to 5:15.




When I see things like this, I can't help but think...if he can do it, I can certainly do it.  The thing is, it's not his body that stronger (although it is), it's his will, his determination, that far exceeds my own.  One of the differences between Hector Picard and myself is that my first thought earlier was to say although I can do some things, I CAN'T do "anything", Hector would say, "I'm going to figure out how I CAN do anything." 

The quote, changed to suit my own needs:

My biggest challenge isn't someone else, or even my body. It's voice inside me that yells "CAN'T".  I won't listen.  I'll just push harder until I hear another voice whisper "can".  I am discovering the person I thought I was is no match for the one I really am.

Thanks for stopping in, come again soon!
:D

A Lifetime of Fitness

A friend of mine posted a question yesterday on Face Book...What does lifetime fitness mean to you?  That question got me to thinking because I know I WANT it, but I wasn't exactly sure how to put it in words.  Being a verbal processor, I'm doing what I always do when I don't know how to answer a question...I "talk" until I figure it out!

My answer yesterday was:   

To me it's about balance. Balanced nutrition, balanced workouts (to include appropriate rest). It means not focusing on a short term goal (a specific race or losing weight for an event)...it means adopting fitness as a lifestyle for a lifetime.

Not a bad start...but as usual, I have more to say than would be socially acceptable in a Face Book post.

I can remember the first time I thought about fitness.  I was in the Army (Arkansas Army National Guard to be more accurate).  I was going to be going away to Basic Training for eight weeks and I had heard it would be physically grueling.  I started going to the gym with my dad.  I did sit ups using a bar (by the way--that really works your quads in can you were wondering!).  I worked out with some machines.  I may have even jogged around the indoor basketball courts (13 laps made a mile but I'm sure I lost count and never made it even that far).  The work outs where at best sporadic.

When I got to Basic, I didn't have a choice about fitness.  They say after 21 days of doing something it becomes a habit.  Well, I think that's wrong, PT (physical training) did NOT become a habit.  You know, come to think of it, maybe it would have been a habit--to go work out with a group of about 180 women with drill sergeants yelling commands of what to do next--if I had stayed in that environment.  But I didn't.  I went home.

We were required to pass a PT test (so many push ups and so many sit ups in a two minute period for each exercise and a 2 mile run in a certain amount of time).  I barely passed mine every time I had taken it, and always with someone's help.  Out of the whole time I was in the military, there was only one time during that period of my life I self-motivated.  I was running pretty much every day-trying to increase my two-mile time speed by running two miles (not the best plan, but better than nothing at all).  Then...I got married and suddenly getting out of bed wasn't as easy as it was when I was single.

Not mine, but exactly like it!

From that point until a year ago I was an on-again/off-again (mostly off again) exerciser.  I remember joining a gym after my son was born.  When he was a year old I had gotten back down to my pre-baby weight....and then I got pregnant again.  After my daughter was born, I tried to go back to the gym, but the child care there was less than sub-standard.  So, I bought a Jane Fonda video tape, complete with an aerobic step!!  When that one got old, I bought several other tapes.  Then...we moved to a much smaller house with no room to do my grapevines and step-kicks across the floor! 

So, I started walking...when it was nice outside, and when my husband could watch the kids, and when I didn't have anything else that needed to be done (read: I wanted to do it more than I did).  I had just about gotten into a good routine of walunning (walking more than running) about four times a week...then I got divorced.  It took a couple of years for life to settle back down.  I got remarried, and joined another gym.  I went regularly, until I lost the weight I wanted to lose.  After that I went sporadically.  Then...we moved.

At that point I got a very stressful job.  Just at the time I needed exercise the most, there weren't enough hours in the day for it.  I had two children, a step-son, and a job that took more time than I had.  I convince my husband we needed to buy an elliptical.  It was the cheapest, smallest (read: useless) one I could find (I think it was $175 from Sears!).  I may have used it a couple of times.  Maybe.  A few years later a friend sold us a (REALLY NICE) dreadmill.  I think the kids used it more than I did...until I went through my second divorce.

I started walunning about four miles pretty much every day (sometimes twice a day)....for about a year or so.  Then...I moved a couple of times, met my current husband (he's a keeper BTW)...and got out of the habit.  About the time I got married for the third and final time, I joined a gym and hired a personal trainer.  I worked out with him for 12 weeks....and loved to hate him.  As soon as my time with him ended, I pretty much stopped going to the gym.  Then...I moved, again.  I stopped exercising with any consistency and I gained weight. 

I had gotten up to what was just about my heaviest non-pregnancy weight when I took the best job I've ever had in my life---HOMEMAKER!!  That was a year ago January...  Once again, I set a goal-to run a marathon in December of the same year.  I found a training plan, and started following it.

Little did I know that somewhere along the way (I'm not exactly sure when it happened)...exercise went from being a means to an end to being the end itself!  It's part of my life now.  Yes, I'm "always" training for a race, but that isn't why I exercise.  I do it because when I don't I feel like something is missing.  It's not a habit, it's part of my life.  It's very much like brushing my teeth.  I might go to bed with out brushing, but I don't go a whole day without it.  Even when I don't feel like it, I do it anyway because I know it's good for me and I'll feel better afterward.

When I sat down to write this I thought I hadn't really had a lifetime of fitness...but the truth is I've had a lifetime trying to figure it out.  I've wanted to have it in my life, but it usually revolved around a specific goal (mainly losing weight, or more recently running a marathon), that had an end.  As it is now, I can't imagine a time in my life that I will not be doing some form of exercise.  I love it.  I love what it does for my body, my mind, my spirit. 

It's a way of life, a way of life I love.

Thanks for stopping in!  Come again soon!
:D

Exercise in Will

This morning I woke up feeling AWFUL!  My head is pounding.  Every joint in my body feels like it's surrounded with fluid.  My throat hurts.  I'm drained.   (I ate a food that's on my "no-no" -allergy- list yesterday...this kind of feeling "always" follows eating that food.  Maybe I'll remember that the next time I want to eat it.)

Today is my "long run" which should be 8-10 miles (probably 8 since I'm running my first half next Saturday!!!!).  I don't feel like doing it.  I want to crawl in bed and pull the covers over my head.

....I already have my running clothes on.  I will go.  I will do it.

Run Like a Mother had an post yesterday about a (very) pregnant blogger who has what I think is a very interesting way to "chunk up" a long run.  Basically instead of telling herself she has to run 20 miles, she just says she's got to run 5.  She runs five miles out...rests a minute...then tells her self she's got to run 5 miles...runs back....gets to her car and tells herself she thinks she'll go for a 5 mile run today and goes 5 miles in a different direction...rests and tells herself she wants to run 5 miles....runs back.   Twenty miles down, 3 very short rest stops.  If I were running alone, I would try that today in 2 mile chunks.  I could easily run TWO miles. 

Thankfully I have another motivator today-I'm meeting Daisy and Warrior on the trails.  I really like both of them and would hate to miss the opportunity to hang out with them.  Not only that, I KNOW I'll feel better when it's done.

"See you in another life, brotha'."   .....

You Got This Girl!

As usual, I started this morning steeped in apprehension over my planned run with Daisy. I don't know when I'll ever get over that feeling. I don't think...no I know it doesn't have anything to do with her. It's really all me. I don't think I'm as nervous when I plan to run alone, because in the back of my mind I know I can always slow down...walk...cut the run short even stop if I "need" to.  But, running with someone who is proven faster/better than me means I MUST do my best to do my very best.

I think most days I am worried that I won't do my best.  I don't even think it's as much a matter of not being ABLE to run a certain pace or distance.  I think it's more a matter of "knowing" or thinking I will "quit" before I really have to.

Again, this is the very reason I started training to run the marathon in the first place.  There is this thing out there that I can NOT reach without consistently training, without considerable planning and without perseverance.  It will not happen by chance.  It will not happen automatically.  It will not happen without pushing myself further than I point where I feel comfortable.  It will require more of me than I am used to giving....more than I may "want" to give, or feel like giving in the moment when it truly counts.  Sure, I can talk about it all day long, but am I willing to do more than I "want" to do??



So far, on most of my runs with Daisy, I have either felt good and kept going...or I have felt bad and "quit" early.  Monday, after my one mile stretch and my two mile walk break (at two miles, not two miles long)....I mentally decided that I would not stop and would not give in to the feeling that I needed to.  I mentally decided I would just keep going.  From mile 2 through the end (3.4), I pushed myself past the horrible section of the trail...I pushed myself through the section where I can see the gate that leads to the pavement...and I pushed myself along the paved "six minute" home stretch....and I pushed myself HARD up the little incline at the end. 

Monday it was hard.  Monday I had to keep the decision I had made after my walk break to not walk again, to not stop and to not give up in the very front of my mind.  Even in my incessant babbling, even in my intent interest in what Daisy had to say (because she provides just the BEST conversation)....I had to fight a mental battle, telling myself that I would NOT stop and I would NOT give up.  Kicking in a surge at the end, with every exhale, I had to say (although I'm sure incoherently), "FINISH STRONG".  Over and over until I was well past the "finish line". 

It felt hard.  Not so much the physical battle (although that felt hard, too), but the mental battle felt especially hard.  After it was over, I felt like I had really accomplished something--mentally even more than physically.

Today....after we got started and after I was able to somewhat let go of the gut-wrenching nervousness that I seem to put on along with my running shoes--but only on the days I'm joining someone else....felt pretty darn good.

There wasn't one time in the whole run that I ever felt like I needed to slow down or walk.  There were a couple of times I had to remind myself of Monday's mental victory.  There were a couple of times I had to will my feet to keep moving...but not for long.  Just before we got to the horrible section of trail, Daisy mentioned that was her least favorite spot, and mentally I started to nose dive because it really does STINK.  But, I remembered how it felt Monday when I realized I had gotten through it...and I quickly made the decision I wasn't going to think about it.

The only time my resolve started to waiver was when I knew the gate sighting was coming up.  I shored up my potentially waivering determination and congratulated myself in advance for the GREAT JOB I was about to do.  I mentally patted myself on the back and gave myself the "YOU CAN DO IT" cheer...and kept going.  It wasn't like Monday when I had to keep repeating the cheer in my head like a broken record...it was a one time shout out to myself.

When we got to the incline, Daisy's exhortation of "you got this girl" sounded in my head as if yelled through a megaphone....but it was MY VOICE this time!!  I said it to me!!  And, what's more, I meant it!!  I knew it was true.  I didn't wonder if I would make it.  I didn't have to remind myself.  I didn't have to battle any other voices in my head this time!  I knew I had it...and I "easily" finished strong.

It wasn't our best time, but it sure felt good!!!  Not good as in, "I just finished a really hard work out and I'm glad it's done/glad I did it" kind of way...but in a "that was just the exact right amount of tough (mentally speaking more than physical) to know I 'won' a battle, but not so tough I ever thought I would lose" kind of way.  Not sure if that makes sense to anyone but me....but, again, it felt really good!

You got this girl!!

Thanks for stopping in, come again soon. 

My Active Recovery Plan

Okay...so, I "can't" run for six weeks.  I would very much like to include the 10 days I didn't run pre-race, but my tyrant of a husband has "ordered" me to start counting the recovery period from the day after.  We'll see.

The options are almost overwhelming.  But, the thing I know I have to do is make a plan.  I know myself well enough to know if I don't make a plan, I'll wind up not doing anything at all.  I am scraping the idea of training for the sprint tri.  That would mean buying a bathing suit.  No.  That would also mean buying or borrowing a bike.  No.

Strength training.  Spinning classes.  Water running.  I think I'll focus on those three things.  And my diet.  I want to lose weight.  I don't think I've mentioned it on here...I found out from my doctor that my vitamin D level was on the low side.  And, no surprise, my thyroid isn't working.  She seems to think taking vitamin D will help the thyroid which will help my metabolism, which will enable me to lose weight.  I also had a full allergy panel done-the results won't be back for another week or two.  I've read how food intolerances can cause the kind of thyroid problem I have.  Once I have that panel back I'm set to meet with a nutritionist. 


I have to take a look at training plans and do some backwards math to see where I'm at with my marathon goal.  I have no doubt I CAN do it....but I want to be in good shape for it, unlike what happened with Cotton Row.  So, I think I have to decide what the goal is....distance or speed.  If distance is the goal, then I'm going for the marathon.  If speed is more important, then I might just go for a half in late November.  I actually think I like that plan better just because I "know" I can go faster than what I've been going....but I've been told to slow down in order to go further.

THAT is why I'm training for a marathon---I want EVERYTHING right NOW.  This whole process is about me learning that some things really do take time.  And, some things take longer for some people.  But, "sitting down" is not an option.  Even if I can't run, I can move forward toward my goal.

Thanks for stopping in, come again soon!
:D

Finding Out What I'm Made Of

Did you know salt and straw look the same under a microscope?? (No, not really....)

Yes, it's true!!  (Just an analogy, or hyperbole, or metaphor...hhmmm, maybe a combination??.)

See, I've been trying to figure out what it is I'm made of....and it's come down to these two things-salt and straw-but I can't quite make out which it is.  I used to believe it was certainly straw ("who's afraid of the big, bad wolf....").  I took the easy way.  I would quit long before I made good on goals; I couldn't seem to stay married; I wouldn't exercise (for any real extended period of time-not in a "session", but as in longevity); I whined; I complained about every single little ache and pain or discomfort; hard work required some kind of external payment that made all the hard work "worth it".  In order for me to work hard, there had to be something outside of myself to show for the hard work, something I could point to and proclaim, "THAT'S why I'm doing/did what I'm doing/did." (ie:  weight loss/good looking body for -short term- exercise, cash money or something to show for my efforts for physical labor, at-a-girls for long hours on the job...something other people would agree make hard work mean something)

At some point along the way (probably about the time I realized I could actually stay married when I finally made the right choice in husbands to fit with who I am as a person), I started thinking maybe there's something more to me than just straw.  Maybe there is some "salt" in there after all, I just have to find it.  That's when I made the CRAZY bold decision to run a marathon.  Yes, I'm sure there were other, much easier, ways to determine what I'm made of, but that's the way I chose, for better or worse, through sickness and health (hopefully NOT until death do us part). 

Now, I'm sure some people might argue that running a marathon really does have an external payment-crossing over a finish line.  I think those people must not have run a marathon before--or if they have, they didn't have as hard of a time with training as I'm having.  I believe (please correct me if I'm wrong) marathoners would say the "payoff" is completely (or at the very least, mostly) internal. 
 
I'm not gaining any external pay off for this goal I'm trying to get to that I can see right now.  I have friends who keep asking me WHY??, I have such undeniable pain I basically limp a good bit of time from one run all the way to about the quarter or half mile marker of the next one.  I'm certainly NOT losing any weight.  I don't feel like I'm getting any faster.

****funny story break****

I was out at the cross-country running park the other day enduring enjoying a painful nice run in the "safe woods"*, when I spotted a strange looking fellow out on the trail.  I'm sure he was just out for a stroll, but the thought crossed my mind that if that man suddenly started chasing me for nefarious purposes, I would surely not be able to out-run him (especially after going down, then back up that ridiculously steep hill).  I almost cried out of the sadness of it all.  Oh, wait, this was supposed to be a funny story, wasn't it??  Well, I guess you could say I lied.  But, I'm not going to edit it because since the poor guy obviously didn't chase me for nefarious purposes, it is a funny story.  I have to laugh at the thought or never run alone again.

****I digress....****

Other runners understand it, even if no one else gets why it is I keep on trying....why it is I don't want to give up....why it is I'm desperately seeking an answer for this pain in my calf that doesn't include NOT running....why it is I believe running "proves" I'm worth my salt.

Thanks for stopping in, come again soon!
:D

Why I Write

Run Like A Mother "always" has questions after each post.   Usually I can't even write a comment because the question of the day sparks so many thoughts in my head that it would end up being a whole post in and of itself!!

Today I decided to do just that-write my own post in response.

Why I write about what I run is (as usual with me) a complicated question.  (That's not their question, but it's the question that their question sparked inside of me...if that makes sense.)

You know, I started "training" in January by walking 30 minutes.  Saturday I ran 5 miles in 61 minutes, walking only six minutes of that time...and a full three minutes and 45 seconds were walking up a hill...so really I only took 2 one minute walk breaks!!!  That's an amazing accomplishment.  What's sad about it is that it feels inconsequential to me...meager.

Last night we were at dinner with some friends and Dwayne (thinking he was bragging on me) told them about me being up to five miles.  I was actually embarrassed.  It felt like "Hey, my wife gets out of bed in the morning!"  How crazy is that???  I can't even really say I'm a runner yet because I don't run the full time.  I TOOK 2 ONE MINUTE WALK BREAKS IN FIVE MILES....I HAVE BEEN GOING OUT 4 TIMES A WEEK (other than injury weeks) FOR SIX WEEKS.  When will I allow myself to say I'm a runner?  Is there a mileage quota I have to make.

You know, I had this same debate with myself when I started my other blog, but it was about calling myself a writer.  (BTW, I declared that day I was a writer, but that's worn off, I can't say that anymore...I have no idea why, I just can't.)

What is it about me that "never" feels good enough.  Nothing I do is ever enough --FOR ME.  Everyone around me can tell me, "good job"...and I still beat myself up for imperfection.


.......

Thanks for stopping in, come again soon!
:D

HILLS

I had my "first" experience with hill training last night.

I say "first", but really what I mean is my first experience with voluntarily running up a hill.  (Attempting to run up a hill is more truthful.)

Back in "the day" I had to run up something called "AG Hill".  I was in the Army Guard, in Officer Candidate training.  The AG (basically the man over the whole Arkansas Army National Guard) had his office on this massive hill (the tallest spot on the camp, naturally).  It was almost a rite of passage to run up that thing.   I remember thinking at the time, "WHY would anyone ever choose to run up a hill unless they were being chased by a pack of wild dogs, or maybe a chainsaw killer!"  (See, the person chasing me would have to be carrying a chainsaw for me to even consider I could outrun him.)

Last night, in my desire to continue closer to 26.2, I found out why.  The after effect was nothing short of amazing.  I also became intimately acquainted with the phrase, "it's all down hill from here."

It's funny because my husband and I were just talking about that concept the other day when we where hiking.  He prefers to go up the steepest part of the mountain we hike, pretty much as fast as he can...so he can get to the ridge and enjoy the "stroll" on top.  I've always said I'd just prefer the stroll!  I whine and complain all the way up.  "It's so hard.  My leg hurts.  My heart is going to beat out of my chest.  Why'd we have to choose this path?  Is it really worth it???"   (Bless his heart...HOW does he put up with me??  I'm surprised he even allows me to go hiking with him.  He knows what it's going to be like with me, and yet, he still wants me with him.)

The thing is...first of all he LOVES me and KNOWS as soon as we get to the top I'm going to forget what that hill was like and completely enjoy the time on the ridge.  Second of all, he was a runner and knows all too well what it's like to push past the pain.  In the middle of pain, all I think about is pain.  He, on the other hand, thinks about the reward--the PAY OFF.

Last night I think I got it....way more than with the hike.  When I got to the top of the hill, both times (yes, we ran it twice as if once wasn't enough!)..."it was all down hill from there."  It felt like I was flying!  I ran easily.  My heart rate just kept dropping even though I was running faster than I have in a long time.  It dropped well below what it usually is when I run.  I felt like I could go on for hours!!  Nothing hurt at that point.  (Yes, I'm serious...I don't know why, but I felt much better at the top of that hill....unless I've blocked out the real experience from my mind???)

The second time up the hill was harder than the first for me.  Even after that great feeling coming down....I still didn't want to go up again.  My logical thinking, knows-me-better-than-I know-myself husband would tell me there's two main reasons for that...

First, my body was more fatigued the second time.  Physiologically it really was harder to go up that hill the second time.

Second, I am an IN THE MOMENT kind of gal.  I don't seem to think about what will come next.  I think what ever emotion/physical sensation I'm having RIGHT NOW will continue on forever.  "It" will always feel/be exactly the way it is right now.  That's the main reason I'm writing this entry--because I think I'm going to forget what I felt like on the down side of that hill.  The next time I try run with wild abandon up a hill, I want to remember what the pay off was the last time.  I'm hoping writing about it will solidify it in my Swiss-cheese brain.

I want to remember the pain, and remember the fact that the pain was over at the top.  I ran faster and further than I ever have on that down side.  (That's the advantage of being an in-the-moment kind of gal, I didn't dwell on what happened going up, I was completely focused on how great it felt running over 9 minutes at the fastest pace I've run to date and not feeling like I was going to die!)

I was lucky enough to end up running alongside an amazing ultra runner (blogger "Sirius Ultra Runner") who so graciously slowed his rabbit pace down to give me some great tips.  He said he believes hills are where he wins races.  His personal preference is to go slower up the hill, conserve energy and then utilize that energy on the down side to run much faster.  He said the mistake some people make is to walk up the hill and then never go any faster than they have before-wasting the "extra".  He also said the key to training is to go further each time than you did before.

The hill we ran is broken up into two parts (basically). I ran up the first part, and walked pretty much the rest.  I did shuffle at times, but not for long.  My goal, by the marathon in December, is to run up the whole thing!!  (The hill....hopefully the marathon, too, but, to be clear, I was just talking about the hill.)

Thanks for stopping in, come again soon!
:D

Why a Marathon??

Why??

That's the question I get almost every time I tell a non-runner I'm going to run a marathon.

The short answer to that question is, "well, because I want to...it's something I've always wanted to do."  But, as with everything else pertaining to me, it's more complicated than that.

There are a lot of "reasons" that have nothing to do with crossing off the next item on my "bucket-list".  The main one is what running a 26 mile race will symbolize for me-going the distance.  See, the thing is, I'm kind of lazy--in certain areas anyway (areas like exercise).  I'd really rather not put forth 100% of my best effort for an extended period of time.  And, I have been somewhat of a "when-the-going-gets-tough-I-quit" kind of person.  (At least I was until my second husband left me...but, that's another blog!  In fact, I think that will be my next topic on "Using 100 Words...", but I digress!)

I have quit on just about every long term goal I've ever set for myself.  Well, let me back up on that statement...I've quit on just about every long term goal I've had.  There's a subtle difference there.  Many of my long term goals have been made because "it" was what was expected of me, or what would have made someone else happy with me.    For instance, when I was in the sixth grade, my dad asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I told him, "a teacher."  He laughed and said that teachers didn't make enough money; I needed to be a doctor or lawyer.  I told him that since I didn't like the sight of blood, I would be a lawyer.  That made him very happy.

Now, let me say, I love the field of law.  (No, I didn't go to law school...)  I believe I would have done well in law school, and would have made a fine attorney.  But it wasn't my true love.  I continued to want to be a teacher....and still might decide to return to that some day.  My point is, I set the goal, but not for myself.  I think that's why so many long term goals I've set have not been actualized-they weren't really for me.  The marathon goal is what I WANT to do-for me.  Will it make my family proud?  I sure hope so,  but that's not why I'm doing it.

Another reason "going the distance" is important to me is because I've been known to be more of an "on-a-whim" kind of person.  I decide quickly on things, and then usually quickly change my mind.   (This is part of the reason my first marriage didn't work out-we only knew each other three months when we tied the knot.)  The idea of something is usually much more appealing than the act of putting in the work to bring the idea to reality.  Not only that, I DO NOT like any kind of pain.  The way I see it, pain is an indicator to STOP doing whatever it is that is causing it in the first place.  I'm pretty sure there will most likely be some soreness involved before this year is over.  This is why I'm taking the snail's-pace approach and why I'm (hopefully) training slow enough to avoid injuries!!

For me, setting this goal is about pushing beyond some self-limiting behaviors I have, in the past, claimed as my own.  Behaviors I have decided no longer fit me.  It's about redefining who I am, without regard to what anyone else thinks or says is true about me.  I know, you're probably thinking--all that psycho-babble wrapped up in a decision to run a marathon??  Well, in a word, yes!!

A marathon is a goal that has to be prepared for, trained for, pushed for, and, it's a goal that will have to be held on to when I don't feel like going out for a "long run" when it's raining, cold, hot, or I just want to sleep in.  That's why it's called an endurance race.  The way I have it figured, it will take me a good year to train properly for it, with several milestones on the way (5K, 10K, 10 mile and half-marathon).  Setting a goal that will not be achieved for a whole year really involves a change in lifestyle.

In my mind, running this marathon will be an outward symbol of the me I've come to know on the inside--someone who CAN "go the distance".