Promise of Pain Delivered and the Three Erics

I had an email conversation recently with Eric Charette about marathon training.  I was concerned about trying to figure out what pace I needed to be running.  The pace outlined in my plan was slower than what I believed it needed to be, but at the same time, I didn't want to over reach and end up getting injured.  He gave me some good information and then had this to say:

This is going to hurt... I promise you that.  This is going to be difficult.  I promise you that.  But you have it in you to do it.

I lived out his promise on the track yesterday.

I had missed our group workout Wednesday night so I ended up having to do speed work on my own.  It might have been okay except I swam first...on an empty stomach...and it turned into a speed work session also.  See, I have the good fortune of being able to swim with a Master's coach who tells me what to do in the moment so I have no idea what's coming up next.  Yesterday he had me finish the morning with 6 X 100 FAST...I did my best to do my best--I seriously nearly puked in the pool!!  I've never pushed myself THAT hard for THAT long.

After I changed from my swim suit to my running outfit, I started mental negotiations.  "I haven't eaten anything, I should eat then go back out later for the track workout.  I'm EXHAUSTED from the swim...it's okay to skip a speed workout, that's life, right?  If I go ahead and do it, I have an excuse not to push as hard or stop it early.  I don't want to get hurt."

There it was..."hurt"...  I immediately flashed back to Eric's words of wisdom.  He promised it WOULD hurt.  He promised it WOULD be difficult.  But he also told me I had it in me to do it.  (There is a difference between "hurt" and "injured" and I'm learning it's really not okay NOT to push into the pain cave under the guise of injury protection.)

So...THANKS TO ERIC, for making that promise and giving me the same boost so many other great friends have given me in the past (believing I CAN do "it"), I drove straight to the track!!  The workout was supposed to be a mile warm up, 12 X 400 -every other one at a 2:15ish pace, then a mile cool down.  I didn't want to stress out about the pacing so I just decided to give it all I had each time and not look at my watch.  The first time around I honestly thought I wouldn't be able to do it a second time.  After the recover 400... I did in fact do it again, but it felt like it took me a lot longer.   After a second recovery, on my third fast 400, I wasn't sure I was going to make it all the way around.  When I hit about the 250 yard "mark", Eric's words SCREAMED in my head...over and over for 150 yards.

HE PROMISED THIS WAS GOING TO HURT...HE WAS RIGHT!!!

After the third recovery I didn't want to go a fourth time...but I knew I still had 3 more fast 400s left to finish what was on my plan for the day.  About that time words from another Eric (Patterson) rang in my ears...  SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP!!  I remembered a post he wrote a long time ago about behaving in accordance with a decision previously made-something that has stuck with me ever since reading it-and I started my fourth fast 400, although after about 200 it felt like I was going to hurl the previous night's dinner (since I had yet to eat breakfast)...or maybe pass out before I made it all the way around the track.

I almost quit then, sure I wasn't even coming close to my target pace goal since I could feel myself slowing.  But, during my fourth recovery I remembered too many quotes from yet another Eric (Doehrman) to list.  So on my fourth and fifth fast 400s I thought something about giving less than 100% in training means not being able to give 100% in a race...good athletes train even when they don't feel like it...the need for being comfortable in the PAIN CAVE...and (even though I was on a flat track, for some reason I could hear Eric D. saying:) "WE LOVE HILLS--THEY MAKE US STRONG!!!  (During the 5th recovery all I could think was BREATH, don't puke...)

As I started my sixth and final fast 400...all three Eric's were running along side of me (at what amounts to a jogging pace for them)...yelling at me.  In a good way.  In an encouraging way.  In an inspiring way.  They were all telling me to embrace the pain and KEEP RUNNING!! PUSH!!!  FASTER!!!  JUST A FEW MORE SECONDS!!!

As I jogged/walked my final recovery 400, and then ran/jogged my mile cool down, I looked at my times.

1:38 (6:34 pace)
1:41 (6:46 pace)
1:44 (6:58 pace)
1:46 (7:06 pace)
1:47 (7:10 pace)
1:42 (6:50 pace)

I like how even though the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th intervals did get progressively slower...I was able to speed up for the last one (with the help of the three Eric's yelling at me all along the way!!).

I know those are not fast times for most people...but I think for most 42 year old women who have been running less than 2 years, that's not too stinking bad!!!  

Eric was right.

Thanks for stopping in.  Come again soon!

Motivational Quotes

A friend of mine posted a quote on FaceBook...

"Your biggest challenge isn't someone else. It's the ache in your lungs and the burning in your legs, and the voice inside you that yells "CAN'T", but you don't listen. You just push harder. And then you hear the voice whisper "can".  And you discover that the person you thought you were is no match for the one you really are."

I wanted to see who said it so I Googled...and found a real gem of a website: http://www.tonystocker.com/misc/motivational.html.  In fact, I LOVE this site so much I'm not only book-marking, I'm going to put the link right on my computer's desktop.  There are so many great quotes on there I'm a little overwhelmed!

The reason motivational quotes are so inspiring is because they resonate with something inside of us.  The words my friend posted on FaceBook spoke to something deep within me that has been fighting to get out...something that is breaking the surface--that still small, but ever growing, voice that whispers "can".

I've been telling everyone I'm coaching, the biggest challenge to running is not your body-it's your mind.  I have come to believe the people who run well are the ones who have learned to listen to their bodies, not the chatter in their heads.  I haven't met a runner yet who doesn't have the chatter. I think the difference is where the chatter comes from.  For many of us, it's internal, but for some it's external.  How we overcome the chatter is the same...doing "it" anyway.

Eric Charette (siriusultrarunner.blogspot.com) says this:

I'm just an ordinary person with average abilities striving to do extraordinary things and through hard work, every day I get a little closer and if by sharing my experiences with you, it enriches your life, then my work is complete.

Check out his latest blog entry on his experience attempting to run the Delano Park 50 Mile race.  He  says, "We all have our own personal kryptonite and mine lies above my shoulders."  I think that's true of most people....but some people either have stronger kryptonite in their heads, or they just haven't strengthened enough to overcome the effects.  I believe, since none of us are Superman, we CAN certainly overcome the effects of kryptonite.

I started to say I am not saying people can do anything at all...but the more I think about it, the more I disagree with my own initial thought.  Here's the thing-no matter what the obstacle is, there is someone out there who has overcome it.  People with NO LEGS run.  Okay....there's a guy with only half an arm (ONLY half an arm, the other one is completely missing) who competes in triathlons.  He placed 674/728 in his second tri--and he was the only physically challenged athlete in the race.  This video is interesting, although a little long...if you can't watch it all, skip ahead to 3:50 and then again to 5:15.




When I see things like this, I can't help but think...if he can do it, I can certainly do it.  The thing is, it's not his body that stronger (although it is), it's his will, his determination, that far exceeds my own.  One of the differences between Hector Picard and myself is that my first thought earlier was to say although I can do some things, I CAN'T do "anything", Hector would say, "I'm going to figure out how I CAN do anything." 

The quote, changed to suit my own needs:

My biggest challenge isn't someone else, or even my body. It's voice inside me that yells "CAN'T".  I won't listen.  I'll just push harder until I hear another voice whisper "can".  I am discovering the person I thought I was is no match for the one I really am.

Thanks for stopping in, come again soon!
:D

I am David O'Keefe

The overall winner of last year's McKay Hollow Madness was David O'Keefe.  He won by well over five minutes!!

I have the pleasure of knowing David and have been trying to casually ask him questions about his race strategy without making it seem I am pumping him for information.  But, he's one of those, "I just go out and run as hard as I can" kind of people who make it seem so easy.  Like there's no planning involved or necessary...just RUN.  ((Now, I don't know if that's really how he thinks because I've never come out and asked him...but that's my impression anyway.))

So the other day while running trails, trying to familiarize myself with the course, among the mantras of "I am a billy goat.  I am a hurdler." and "I CAN.  I WILL" I also found myself repeating (more times than I really care to admit), "I am David O'Keefe!!"

I felt like I was really saying (pause the music and press play)

Amazingly enough, just saying it made me feel like I was running faster!!  Like I said in yesterday's post, I don't believe in mantras.  And, let me be very clear, I don't really believe I'm bat...I mean David O'Keefe.  I didn't fall and hit my head...




To me, "I am David O'Keefe" isn't about winning the race...Again, I have no delusions of winning McKay (even female masters) (this year...).  It's about much more than that.  David is a genuinely good person who loves the Lord.  He works hard at everything he does, whether that's his job, leading Bible study, being a husband and father, mission work, or running.

"I am David O'Keefe" is a representative conglomeration of ideas I'm coming to believe about myself.  The idea I really can run faster and stronger than I have in the past...the idea I can run with more confidence...the idea I can run in such a way someone else might look at me and think "You make it look easy"...the idea running can be a part of who I am but not take away from who I am in Christ.

There's no doubt in my mind I'll use this phrase again during the race, but don't expect to see THIS David O'Keefe at the finish line around the 2 hour time window...I'll be a hurdling billy goat muttering under my breath, "I CAN.  I WILL." about the time the real David O'Keefe is getting his award! 

Thanks for stopping in...come again soon!  :D

What Comes First, The Apple or the Seed?

I've never been a big fan of mantras.  I believe in transformation from the inside out; as I think therefore I am.  Or, as my husband likes to say, "actions and emotions flow out of core beliefs."  I don't believe a person can repeat words enough to change what they truly believe.  I think it takes stepping out in faith on an idea (or, said differently, taking action on a thought) until that idea becomes a deeply held core belief.

Let me give you a real life example.  When I was young, I fell off a rope swing in my back yard.  It wasn't high up, but the fall was enough to knock the wind out of me.  For the next 15 or so years, I became increasingly afraid of heights.  It finally got to the point I couldn't be on my first husband's shoulders (he is 6'5") without having a near panic attack (even in a swimming pool!).  Until the fear manifested into a phobia, I would have told anyone I was NOT afraid of heights...but my actions told a vastly different story.  My deeply held core belief was that it was not safe to be high up because I might fall.  Saying I wasn't afraid didn't change what was going on inside of me much less my behavior.  The only thing that would change it, was action.  (I have a degree in psychology...I had learned about desensitization.)

So...armed with the idea there was nothing to fear about being high up, I began to step out (or in this case UP) on that idea...testing it out if you will.  Now, if I had fallen and gotten hurt, my fear would have most likely solidified.  However, as it were, after some time, I was eventually able to take a job as an insurance adjuster (read: climb many tall and/or steep roofs in a single day!)....and even skydive!  It wasn't the act of SAYING I wasn't afraid, but the ACTION of acting as if I wasn't, until I truly wasn't.

So, I'll say it again, I just don't buy into "mantras".  I will never win a race by saying "I can win, I will win"....unless I already believe it's possible.  However, having said all that...I think mantras can have an impact on the "stepping out in faith" phase of the process.

For the longest time I could not (would not) believe I had earned the right to be called a "runner".  I didn't think I had run long enough, fast enough, far enough, well enough.  Even in yesterday's post I said I "still have doubts I am a runner."  However, the truth is, my actions are showing otherwise.  I run.  I coach.  I (for the most part) don't quit at the first sign of fatigue.  I do believe I am a runner, or I would not run.

I can't say when the real turning point was...but I think it may have been when I came back from (almost) five weeks off.  Even my husband couldn't believe I didn't quit.  I couldn't keep holding onto the belief I wasn't a runner because the fact was undeniable ...I was in fact running.  The continued ACTION of doing the thing has (almost) solidified it in me. 

Scottish Thistle-hardest weed to kill

There are still times, however, the old (long-held) belief of "I can't run" pops back out like a deeply rooted weed.  It's in those times the mantra of "I AM A RUNNER" can help-- but only if coupled with the ACTION of continuing to run.  It's the ACTION that is doing the real work, but I think repeating the mantra while in action helps dig out that root of doubt and allows the fruit of the truth to grow.

I didn't think all this through the other day before (or during) my trail run...but as I said in yesterday's post, I did actually use a few mantras on that run.  In addition to "I am a billy goat" and "I am a hurdler"...there were two others I repeated over and over.  One I'll devote a whole post to, tomorrow.  The other one was "I CAN.  I WILL." 

The idea I'm about to (a) run the longest distance I've gone so far, while at the same time (b) running a VERY HARD trail race is daunting to say the least.  I have had doubts I can finish.  Beyond that, I've had doubts I can/will finish well.  I'm not saying I think I have any shot at WINNING even female masters.  Competition is tough.  (There are no age group awards.)  However, I want to believe I CAN/WILL not only finish, but finish well.

The action of running strong (which I certainly did the other day, and have all the times I've been on those trails recently) coupled with the mantra "I CAN.  I WILL." is (hopefully) driving out the old belief of "I can't.  I won't."  The new belief came first...otherwise I would never even try.  It might have been a seedling of a thought at first, but when fertilized with the action of stepping out in faith -acting as if the belief were true- the seedling can grow into an apple tree full of fruit. 

"Finish" doesn't have multiple meanings, but "finish well" certainly has a variety of "flavors" (some more widely loved than others).  But, for the moment...I'll continue to nurture the apple tree of belief that I CAN and I WILL finish McKay Hollow, and finish well.

Apple tree-to-be

I'll write about my favorite mantra from the run, tomorrow.  Until then...tell me what you think?  Do you use mantras?  Are they words you already truly believe but need a little reminding in the moment?  Or are they just encouragements for moments of struggle ("beer at the finish line", "run to eat"...)? 

Thanks for stopping in, come again tomorrow...for the rest of the story!  :D

I am a Billy Goat!

It's funny to me to think I have run 13.1 straight miles, but still have doubts I am a runner.  I wonder how far or how fast I will have to go before I convince myself once and for all I can do it?? 

Yesterday I made significant progress toward that end.


As much as I love road races and people on the course and cheerleaders urging me toward the finish line....I love trail running.  I love the challenge of varied terrain.  I love all the sounds (squirrels running through the leaves, woodpeckers pounding on trees, my water bottle sloshing in it's carrier).  I would love to say I like the sights, but the only times I've taken a look around during a run the only sight I really remember is what the ground looks like as I nearly plant my face in it!  (That's one reason I like to hike the trails I run because that's my opportunity to take it all in.) 

In less than two weeks I'm running what I believe is one of the toughest trail races in the state, the McKay Hollow Madness 25K ....and I'm NOT ready.  I haven't put in quite enough trail miles (or any kind of miles for that matter) and I haven't seen the whole course.

So, yesterday, I decided to venture out on parts of the course I hadn't really been on before (hiked parts of it, but I've never run on them).  I had just enough time to go out two miles and come back.  It looked like it would rain any second so I left my phone in the car (something I NEVER do when I run alone-what if I fall and break my ankle?).  I figured I'd rather limp in with a broken ankle than have to replace my phone because the bottom dropped out of the sky.  The only reason I wish I had taken it (since the sun came out about a quarter mile later) was all the missed photo ops!  (However, it was the best thing that could have happened because stopping to take pictures would have broken my rhythm to pieces!)

My strategy for McKay is to run when I can, and let the times the trail is unrunable be my recovery.  There are stretches of the course that will certainly challenge this plan.  Not only are there are some long runable sections out there, the meaning I'm assigning to "runable" is changing!  A few months ago I wouldn't have tried to run on the very rocky parts but yesterday my mantra (among others) became "I AM a billy goat"!!  I realized about the time the run was over that it should have been "I am a MOUNTAIN goat...but whatever, the mantra worked.  I found myself running "top speed" across some pretty rocky path. 

At one point I was running down hill on what looks to be some kind of creek bed that is basically all rock.  I set my mantra on replay in my mind.  I could feel myself start to lose control just a bit, but I didn't want to slow down (I don't think I could have at that point, momentum had taken over) so I put a mental picture in my head of goat being chased by a mountain lion!!!  As I made it safely to the end of the descent (which was not very far at all), I just started to laugh out loud at the hilarity of it all.  I think that's another reason I like trail running so much--no one is watching me and I can go into full-on dork mode!!

When I came to the first downed tree (BIG tree, lots of branches-no way to go around it)...my first thought was to come out and take a chain saw to it in order to clear the path.   Then I thought better of that idea...plenty of the competition will not be expecting this and will lose some time navigating the obstacle.  So I devised a plan of attack to get over it as quickly as possible (this is why I want to know the course!).  I also checked my watch and made a mental note of how far this tree is from the aide station (to give myself an idea of how long it would be until I could take a breather)! 

As I got over it and continued running...I came upon another downed tree!!  In that short 2 mile strip there were no less than four downed trees!!!  Most of them were just the trunk over the path so, instead of being discouraged, I just changed my mantra to "I am a hurdler!"

Thanks for stopping in, come again soon!  (More mantras to come!) 
:D