Doing the Thing

Not really doing Whole30...

A few years ago when I did the Whole30 I started getting the emails from Whole30. About half the time I read them (okay, maybe 1% of the time I read them, about 5% of the time I skim them, 90% of the time I save them "for later" and the other 4% of the time I trash them...but who's counting)!

The other day I saw a podcast Melissa did with James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits. I have heard of the book but haven't cared too much about adding it to the LONG list of books I'd like to read but just don't ever get to. But, I've been talking a lot in Spin class about resolutions (...a DECISION to do something*), solutions (HOW you are going to do it), plans (the actionable steps) and goals (how you know you have achieved the thing you want to do). So I decided to give it a listen...and it was AMAZING. I loved the podcast so much I've been listening to other "Do the Thing" podcasts.

Two of the biggest things I got out of the podcast were 1) casting votes and 2) stop optimizing.

In order to dive into those thoughts, let me share with you my goals and resolutions for the New Year:

So many memes on healthy eating...

1) Resolution one: I am going to be more intentional about eating more healthy. The optimizer in me
gets REALLY stressed out about this because what does "more healthy" even mean? Depending on who you listen to that might mean eat more, or less; eat more carbs, less carbs; go plant based...etc. Additionally I've had some recent tests done that show SIBO (small intestine bacterial overgrowth) and what healing from that looks like is a little fuzzy. The path toward healing from that is VERY unclear to me. The optimizer in me gets VERY stressed out looking for the "perfect" solution. The optimizer in me ends up not making a decision on what path I will take because that part of me gets so hung up on what path I should take I end up saying "screw it" and eating pizza (THE WORST POSSIBLE FOOD FOR MY BODY when it's the best possible version for my taste buds).

Casting a vote for "being a person who eats more healthy" means that more often than not I will make conscious decisions regarding what I'm putting into my mouth. I will (more often than not) know why I'm eating what I'm eating and eating it because I believe in that moment it's a healthy choice. Now, that doesn't mean I won't eat pizza...it might mean that I limit gluten and dairy filled pizza to VERY RARE occasions. I might mean that I sub out regular crust for a gluten free crust and sub out real cheese for vegan cheese. But it won't mean that I will never eat pizza again. I'll also eat donuts and have popcorn at the movies. I have come to believe "eating healthy" means that you do eat the "extra" foods you love on occasion.

Now, to be fair, I am WAY further on the "healthy eater" side of the scale than I used to be...but my resolution for this new year is to continue moving further to that side of the see-saw.

My plan is to start the year with the 90 day Epic Life Challenge from Epicure. I'm not doing it exactly as they have it outlined, but I'm taking the best parts (ie the daily journal) and applying them to what I believe is healthy for me.

My goal from this resolution is to lose the extra weight I've been carrying since starting steroid treatments (about 15-20 pounds), and to develop consistent food and hydration workout habits.

2) Goal 1 for this year is to do better at the Knoxville Marathon on March 29th than I did last year (which was 6:51:37).

3) Goal 2 for this year is to complete IMChoo 70.3 May the 17th. I don't have a time goal, just before the cut off (which I think is 7:30 but I'm not even sure right now...)

The habit I have to "form" (get back to) to make both of these goals a reality is consistent training.
The optimizer in me says it has to be perfect training, planned out and balanced and executed perfectly. But the truth is that consistent training that ramps up to the appropriate level will do very well. I didn't really train at all for Knoxville last year** and I finished it. I can't NOT train for a 70.3 and finish, but consistent training will get me to the finish line even if it's not perfectly planned and executed. And right now getting myself to a finish line is "good enough". That doesn't mean I'm settling for less than my very best (GASP), it means I'm being realistic that a 50 year old woman who is in recovery from an autoimmune brain disease is really doing great to be able to complete a challenging marathon and a 70.3 with a two month time frame. (Not to mention I'm doing the Little Rock Marathon on March 1st as a warm up event leading up to Knoxville.)

By consistently training I will be "casting votes" for the person I want to be (a person who consistently trains"). Last night before I went to bed I got all my swimming stuff ready. I woke up this morning and drove to the Y at 6am to swim...and they were CLOSED!! Long story short I ended up doing yoga today. I trained. It wasn't what I had planned. It wasn't "optimal". It wasn't perfect. But I trained and I didn't let the Y being closed derail me completely. I also didn't let the plan to swim today derail what I had planned for the rest of the day.

4) Resolution 2 is a little embarrassing but I shared it in my Spin class yesterday so I'll share it here... But let me give the lead up before I blurt it out. To be clear, I brush my teeth every day, twice a day. I am not the most consistent flosser, but I do that at least once or twice a week at the very least. I use a Sonicare brush that has a 2 minute timer on it. ...I don't usually brush for the full two minutes! I usually end up stopping it when I think I've brushed long enough. (GASP) So resolution number 2 is to use the 2 minute timer EVERY time I brush. And since I'm already spending more time...

5) Resolution number 3 is to floss at least once a day every day.

The optimizer in me just found a NEW Sonicare toothbrush that has an app that helps you brush PERFECTLY!!! (WHAT?!) I almost ordered one! But we are in a bit of a money crunch right now*** so I'm going to wait...but I WILL have that toothbrush before year's end!!

It's going to be the best year ever!! (Especially since I started my "new year" yesterday giving me two extra days...and it's a LEAP YEAR which gives another extra day!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Feel free to share your goals and resolutions in the comments, or email them to me; I'd love to hear what you have planned for 2020!

Thanks for stopping in and sticking around.

For more information about Epicure: click HERE.
Or, if you'd like to watch a video instead: click HERE.

*Resolution also means "the act of solving a problem" which is a definition I really like when I think about "New Year's Resolutions". I used to HATE the thought of making resolutions because of the negative connotations and how most people don't end up keeping them. But when I think of them in terms of movement toward the person I ultimately want to be (vs a check/no check in a box) the idea is considerably more palatable to me!

**I realized while writing this that I didn't even write about the races I did this year! (GASP!) I will have to go back and write about how I completed THREE marathons and a half in just 22 days!! Mic drop.

***We are in a money crunch because the renters moved out of the house I bought when I got divorced. The house that was supposed to be sold 10 years ago. The house that is thankfully now worth what I paid for it again. (For years it wasn't even close thanks to the drop in the housing market that happened right after I bought!) If you know of anyone looking to buy a house in Conway Arkansas, it's a LOVELY house. It needs some love an attention, but it's priced to sell. And, until we sell it the optimizer in me will not allow frivolous purchases like a fancy toothbrush!

Lumps, Bumps and Lines

I'm getting close to 50 years old. I have lines on my face. I'm sure there's a cream or treatment for that, but I don't actually hate them. I have lines around my mouth and eyes from almost 50 years of emotion. I have lines on my forehead and between my brows from years of near neurotic thought.  (Okay maybe I didn't need to add the qualifier in that sentence...whatever.)

I have lumps and bumps in places I wish were smooth. Some of them were the result of having my babies. Those are nice reminders. Some of them are just the way I was born. Those are constant no matter what I have tried to change them. They are reminders that I'm not in control of everything. Some of them are there because I spent over a year on high dose IV steroids for an autoimmune brain disease and I gained about 30 pounds. Right now those lumps and bumps are proof that I'm conscious and able to take notice! There was a time during treatment I didn't care one little bit about those lumps and bumps. I only cared if the treatment was working and if the disease was backing down.

Seven years ago I was a little overweight and very out of shape. I decided I wanted to train to run a marathon so I started walking every other day for 30 minutes. That soon progressed to a little running. That later progressed to swimming, biking along with the running. A few years later I decided I needed to add in strength training. I wanted to lose body fat and gain muscle. And I did.

If you've been reading my blog for long you might remember my post "Before, Now and Looking Ahead" where I included these before shots:

In the next year I trained HARD and made my goal of a sub 13 hour Ironman. I gained about 10 pounds but I lost about 5% body fat.

I finished Ironman Chattanooga feeling the most fit I had ever been.

And then I started having strange symptoms. I couldn't find words as I was talking. I was really struggling to remember things. I had weird pains, numbness and tingling. And then I forgot how to get out of my own car while sitting in my driveway. I didn't know how to use the phone. I didn't know my husband's name. It didn't last long, only a few minutes maybe. Suddenly I knew what the door handle was, what my phone was and how to call my husband whose name I remembered. It took several months but I was diagnosed and started treatment which I can now (2 years later) say worked.

In the process of getting my brain to come back online, I've gained 30 pounds and that muscle I worked so hard for has marbled out with fat. I also lost all that fitness I had pushed myself to gain.

I find myself in what is undoubtedly the worst shape I've ever been in. I weigh considerably more than I've ever weighed (non-pregnant). (I'm only 15 pounds away from my heaviest weight EVER...the day I walked into the hospital to deliver my 10 pound son!)

Don't get me wrong, I'm not actually complaining. I'm just taking an appraisal of where I currently find myself. You can't know how to get where you are going without knowing where you are. You can't plot a course if you have no idea where you are (and where you are going).

So, here I am. 170 pounds this morning. 34% body fat. 37" waist and 47" hips. (DANG)

 (Those are the same shorts...I can't put on the same top anymore.)

I love my body. I know that sounds odd but I actually do love it the way it is right now. The truth is I can look at myself most of the time and be more than just okay with where I am right now. That doesn't mean I want to stay where I am. 34% body fat isn't healthy. High body fat percentage is linked to all kind of health issues. I'm not being mean, I'm being honest.

I've started a 6 week Transformation Challenge with Adventure Boot Camp's Joe Martin.  Some of the lumps, bumps and lines are going to be there forever. But some of them won't.

I can love where I'm at, but know that I'll love where I'm going even more. The thing I can't do is hate the body I'm in and expect it to take me somewhere else!

Thank you for joining me in this journey!

Make it a GREAT DAY!
:D

#2018Renew

I have big goals for 2018.

I finally feel like I'm "recovered" from the ants I had in my brain for almost two years. I'm ready to shed this extra weight I put on and get down to some serious training.

But (there's always a but isn't there?!) I know if I hit it too hard and/or too fast I'll be back at square

yes, it IS creepy...

one quicker than I can blink an eye.

Autoimmune fatigue is unlike any other fatigue there is. If you have any autoimmune disease, you know what I'm talking about. If you've had babies and have had long periods of time where you aren't able to get good sleep, you still have NO IDEA what I'm talking about! It's just not the same. Add to that an inability to use words well, to form coherent thoughts, dizziness, emotional volatility, muscle weakness, severe anxiety, the most intense carb cravings I've ever experienced in my life (actual quote: "someone is going to lose an arm if I don't get a Kit Kat right now"), and a level of brain fog that I can't describe and you'll have more of an understanding where I've been.

I want to be clear, what happened to me is SMALL. Cancer is big. MS is big. ALS is huge. The list could go on and on. My little two-year blip is TINY compared to a lot of things.  But it was a big thing in my life. It was a major life disruptor. It was a plan derailer. It was a HUGE obstacle for me to overcome. I've had some pretty big hurdles in my life and this one is at least in my top three. (I'd really like to keep it that way.)

Many friends have said they had no idea it was as bad as it was. That's a good thing. I wasn't bedridden for two years. I continued to coach. I continued to teach Spin (for all but about three months and some odd days I had to get subs for various reasons). But I wasn't fully me. I was disconnected from people I love. I was less communicative. I was MUCH less able to be out and about in the way I like to be. I wasn't able to cook and keep my house moderately clean the way I was before. (That's not saying much...but that made the loss all the more difficult!)

Thank goodness I'm off that ride!

The last two years are very much a blur for me. I can look back and know what happened but it's like I was removed from it all. The thing that hurts the most is that I wasn't able to fully appreciate the time I got to spend with my grandparents before they both passed away. I can't fully explain how it feels to be separated from yourself but imagine the most distracted you've ever been and then try to do the hardest task you can fathom, but you aren't allowed to put attention toward that task.
And attempt that task in a room with all your worst fears. It was horrible.

AND (there's not always an and, but there is this time)...I know most people dealing with AE have it MUCH worse than I did. Many of them have seizures, psychotic episodes, hallucinations, catatonia. Some can't speak at all. A shocking percentage die before they are properly diagnosed and treated. The fact I got to a doctor who knew what it was and that I got treatment that worked so quickly was life-saving.

Now that I believe I'm on the other side of that health mountain, I'm ready to move forward in typical Dana fashion....full speed and reaching for the outer limits of the universe. (Some people say "the sky's the limit" or "I'm reaching for the moon" but why be myopic?)

For 2018:

• I want to participate in a race a month
• I want to train at the level to which my body will appropriately respond
• I want to feed myself healthy, life-giving food
• I want to honor where I am and what my body/mind/will can handle
• I want to be kind to myself (and others)
• I want to write more.

Yes, I know all by one of these are not measurable goals and they aren't specific. But goals don't have to be. Objectives do. Goals are the big picture, objectives are how to get there. I also recognize these goals might seem small-fry compared to where I have been before.

I'm not who I was. I have a new perspective. I have a new lens to look through. I'm in a very good place.

If I can accomplish the last one on that list, I'll share more with you about the objectives of the others in the coming months.

2018 is going to be a year of renewal for me. Will you join me? Will you share your (big picture goals) or your (specific) objectives with me? You can either comment on FaceBook, in the comments section below, or you can send me a message or email. When we make our intentions known to other people we are putting a stake in the ground. Why don't you go ahead and plant a stake today?

If you are new to my blog, please reach out to me and let me know. If you've been here from the beginning or for a while, thanks for sticking around!

Make it a GREAT day!!

:D