Lumps, Bumps and Lines

I'm getting close to 50 years old. I have lines on my face. I'm sure there's a cream or treatment for that, but I don't actually hate them. I have lines around my mouth and eyes from almost 50 years of emotion. I have lines on my forehead and between my brows from years of near neurotic thought.  (Okay maybe I didn't need to add the qualifier in that sentence...whatever.)

I have lumps and bumps in places I wish were smooth. Some of them were the result of having my babies. Those are nice reminders. Some of them are just the way I was born. Those are constant no matter what I have tried to change them. They are reminders that I'm not in control of everything. Some of them are there because I spent over a year on high dose IV steroids for an autoimmune brain disease and I gained about 30 pounds. Right now those lumps and bumps are proof that I'm conscious and able to take notice! There was a time during treatment I didn't care one little bit about those lumps and bumps. I only cared if the treatment was working and if the disease was backing down.

Seven years ago I was a little overweight and very out of shape. I decided I wanted to train to run a marathon so I started walking every other day for 30 minutes. That soon progressed to a little running. That later progressed to swimming, biking along with the running. A few years later I decided I needed to add in strength training. I wanted to lose body fat and gain muscle. And I did.

If you've been reading my blog for long you might remember my post "Before, Now and Looking Ahead" where I included these before shots:

In the next year I trained HARD and made my goal of a sub 13 hour Ironman. I gained about 10 pounds but I lost about 5% body fat.

I finished Ironman Chattanooga feeling the most fit I had ever been.

And then I started having strange symptoms. I couldn't find words as I was talking. I was really struggling to remember things. I had weird pains, numbness and tingling. And then I forgot how to get out of my own car while sitting in my driveway. I didn't know how to use the phone. I didn't know my husband's name. It didn't last long, only a few minutes maybe. Suddenly I knew what the door handle was, what my phone was and how to call my husband whose name I remembered. It took several months but I was diagnosed and started treatment which I can now (2 years later) say worked.

In the process of getting my brain to come back online, I've gained 30 pounds and that muscle I worked so hard for has marbled out with fat. I also lost all that fitness I had pushed myself to gain.

I find myself in what is undoubtedly the worst shape I've ever been in. I weigh considerably more than I've ever weighed (non-pregnant). (I'm only 15 pounds away from my heaviest weight EVER...the day I walked into the hospital to deliver my 10 pound son!)

Don't get me wrong, I'm not actually complaining. I'm just taking an appraisal of where I currently find myself. You can't know how to get where you are going without knowing where you are. You can't plot a course if you have no idea where you are (and where you are going).

So, here I am. 170 pounds this morning. 34% body fat. 37" waist and 47" hips. (DANG)

 (Those are the same shorts...I can't put on the same top anymore.)

I love my body. I know that sounds odd but I actually do love it the way it is right now. The truth is I can look at myself most of the time and be more than just okay with where I am right now. That doesn't mean I want to stay where I am. 34% body fat isn't healthy. High body fat percentage is linked to all kind of health issues. I'm not being mean, I'm being honest.

I've started a 6 week Transformation Challenge with Adventure Boot Camp's Joe Martin.  Some of the lumps, bumps and lines are going to be there forever. But some of them won't.

I can love where I'm at, but know that I'll love where I'm going even more. The thing I can't do is hate the body I'm in and expect it to take me somewhere else!

Thank you for joining me in this journey!

Make it a GREAT DAY!
:D

Before, Now, and Looking Ahead

I said I was going to be transparent so...here it is.  My before pictures.  Although I did take some pictures of me in a bikini (standard before shots), I am not going to be that transparent.  I decided to take my public pictures in something I would likely be seen in public wearing-a bike top and compression shorts.  

For the record, I'm much happier with these pictures than I am with the bikini pictures.  :D  This top is a little on the snug side and the shorts ride up BAD when I run in them which I like to think will change when I lean up.  Don't send me hate mail, I'm well aware that I am not the typical "before" look.  My overall goal isn't really to lose weight.  I want to lose body fat and increase lean muscle.

Here are my measurements:

Flexed bicep L 10, R 10.5

Waist @ belly button 29

Upper hip 38.5

Widest part of my hips 41.5

Thighs L 22.5 R 23
Calf 14
Weight 135

I don't have number goals.  I know that by chaining the way I am eating and adding in strength training my body is going to change.  I feel a little silly posting this because, again, I know I'm not what most people would think of when they here "before".  But here's where I really started from:

This was my first Cotton Row finish line picture in 2010.  I weighed around 150ish then.  I've worked hard to get to where I am now.  I've been leaner, faster and stronger in the past than where I am right now, but I'm excited to think about where I'm headed.

"Diet" Update

Dwayne and I started the Autoimmune Protocol Thursday.  I have already been able to tell a difference in my gut.  I'm not bloated as usual, and things feel settled.  I'm not used to eating this much protein so we'll see how that goes but for now I'm finding it worth the effort to cook all the time.  I talked to friends of ours (a couple) who have been Paleo (not AIP) for about three years.  The wife said she was having an issue with her shoulder before they started.  It wasn't serious, just achy all the time.  She said once they changed their diet that went completely away.  (It has to do with reduced inflammation.)  I have felt really very good overall.  I can't say I'm significantly better but I ran well Thursday, recovered well for Friday's run and then again for Saturday's run so I'm pleased.

If you want to know more about the "diet" (way of eating...not a "diet" that has a beginning and an end), check out the Paleo Mom's website.

Until next time...

:D

Before or After?

Since I started P90X, I decided I should take some photos...and, no, I will not be posting them any time soon!  What's interesting about it is the fact that just a few short months ago, I couldn't even fit in the shorts I wore for the photos!!  I was more than just pleasantly surprised when they not only fit, but they were comfortable.  As we were taking all the "standard" before shots, my sweet husband said my pictures looked more like "after" shots than "before". 

Truthfully, they are more like "during".  I've lost about 15 pounds since the first of the year, and several inches all over my body.  Clothes I couldn't even think about putting on are now fitting loosely.  I should be pleased...and to an extent, I am. 

But...(isn't there always a "but")...at the same time, I am not where I "want" to be.  I don't have a certain weight necessarily.  I don't even have a certain size goal in mind.  I just know I have a lot of shaky parts that I'd like to either lose or tone.  My glutes and love-handles are especially jiggley.  I have gotten close to where I would like to be one time, but I wasn't really working out then.  I was walking A LOT of miles each day, every day, and eating VERY LITTLE food.  I don't believe I was healthy then. 

Currently, I feel very healthy.  I pay attention to the kinds of food I eat and I'm working out in several different ways.  I just believe it's going to take time to get to where I want to be with my body. 

And...I'm good with that.  I'm at the place in my life where I'm not really working out to change an outward appearance...I'm working out because I love it.  I love how my body feels so much stronger than it ever has before.  I love feeling muscle in my legs and my arms.  I love that I'm finding muscles that I didn't know existed (thank you P90X!).  I love that every single day I can do more than I did the day before. 

I'm not a before or an after.  I'm a "today", a "now", an "in this moment". 

Thanks for stopping in, come again soon!
:D