Body Language

"Listen to your body."  It's got to be the worst saying in the world.  (Well, okay, not "the worst"...but, hey, I told you, I'm an in-the-moment kind of gal and that's the moment I'm in right now!)

I don't speak the same language as my body.  Even when I "hear" it talking to me, I have no idea what it's saying.  Like having a foreigner come up to you on the street adamantly trying to tell you something and you just can't communicate with them....I'm sure my body feels the same way.

It used to be compliant with me and just did what I told it to do, so I'm sure it speaks my language.  I would skimp on food for a few days/weeks and drop a few/a lot of pounds.  I would get hungry and tell my body NOT NOW and my stomach would stop growling.  I would have to pee and be able to hold it for hours if needed.  I would be a little sore from over exertion and just work it out over the course of a day or two. 

My body has decided it's not going to be pushed around any longer.  It's demanding that I be kind to it or it's not going to comply with my requests.   The problem is that I've been pushing it around for so long I don't even know what it means to be kind.  I never learned the difference between "encouragement" and "orders".  Consequently I have a "hag in my head" who barks orders incessantly.  ("She" deserves a post all to herself...)

I've been trying to lose weight for months now...to no avail.  I've been walking/walluning/rulking/running three to four times a week and watching every bite of food I've eaten since January.  My weight has virtually stayed exactly the same.  ((I just added strength training last week, so I'm waiting to see what that does.))

From what I think I'm hearing from my digestive tract, because I've made it live with a lifetime of bad diet, it's fighting back this time.  In the past when I wanted to lose weight I'd just stop eating (well, eat very little) and voila, the pounds would come off.  They typically stayed off for quite some time, but obviously not forever.  The one exception to that was when I had my first child--I was nursing so kept the calories up for his sake, and worked out incessantly-at a gym and with Jane Fonda at home.  It took a year to get my body back....and bam! I was prego again!!

I've been doing a lot of "research"...but it's very hard to sort through all the conflicting information out there.  I thought I'd hit the nail on the head with the Zone "way of eating" (I refuse to call it a diet, because I'm looking for a life change, not temporary fix).  But, even following that plan, I didn't lose any weight.  (I'd say haven't, but I'm not really sticking with the plan anymore....because it's not working.)

I talked to a nutritionist who told me, as a runner, I need to have more calories and especially more carbs than that plan calls for.  I talked to my doctor who recommended more severe calorie restriction.  My husband is convinced a low carb lifestyle is the way to go.  Interestingly enough, a book I've been reading on thyroid health (yet another way my body is trying to speak to me) that says low carb is the way to go.....AND, as if that weren't enough, I received an article today on my Runner's World update on eating more protein.  It was written back in 2008 but it was linked in the update today of all days.  Now, it doesn't say to lower carbs, but by increasing protein you effectively lower carbs if you're staying within a certain calorie count.

As if dietary issues weren't enough, there's my leg.  My left calf continues to be an issue.  A coach told me last week to try running without the inserts (just using the sock liner)...which I did...which was a HUGE mistake.  Today, adding to the calf pain, I have pain in my right foot and both of my knees.  Now, in all fairness, that could also be from Body Pump yesterday and Monday.  Who knows.  I don't understand what this bag of flesh and bones is SCREAMING at me.  I wish there was a translator out there who could just relay the messages for me.  But, I'm learning everyone's body speaks either totally different languages, or at the very least different dialects!

To top it all off, I think I have a raging case of sinusitis.  It could be seasonal allergies.  Or it could be a cold.  Or it could be a sinus infection.  Or it could be a food allergy.  Or it could just be a bodily reaction to stress.  Or dehydration.  Or a hormonal imbalance.  Or, or, or, or.........

Pain, stuffed up snout, breast cysts, thyroid goiters, weight that simply won't come off, breaking hair, dry skin.......Dear body of mine, I'm sorry for hating you for so much of my lifetime... I want to keep you around for as long as possible.  I want to be good to you....I just don't know how.   WHAT ARE YOU SAYING TO ME?????  I DON'T UNDERSTAND NO MATTER HOW LOUDLY YOU SCREAM AT ME!!!!!


Thanks for stopping in, come again soon!
:D