Friday, September 17, 2010

Knowing When to Say "Enough"

Well....I didn't even finish 3.5 this morning.  Well, I did finish it, but I walked about 1/4 mile in the middle.

My lower legs feel exactly like they did when I was training for Cotton Row.  I want to believe it's food related.  It's the thing that makes the most sense.  If I'm being very honest...it's the thing that gives me the most control.  If it's the food, that shall remain nameless, then not eating it AT ALL will result in less, or no, pain....allowing me to not make the decision that has been hanging over my head like a black cloud.  If it's the nameless food I have eaten as much as five times in the past week, that would explain why some days the pain is worse than others (based on what I have eaten).  If it's this food that I won't condemn because I really do love it that is causing me the pain I'm feeling in my legs, then it's NOT just because I'm a  big whiny butt.

I've been saying for a while, if I could have just one food "back", it would be THIS food.  It's in everything good.  I love it.  It's almost impossible to find food, especially at restaurants, that doesn't have this in it.  And, I know what you're thinking--probably the same thing I have thought many times, food can't cause pain in your body.  Come on.  But, there's a very strong correlation between when I eat it and how my body feels.  Undeniable really.  And yet, I'm not ready to tell it like I think it is.  I'm not ready to point the finger at this food.

Well, anyway...enough about that food I'm not going to name.....  I started out feeling okay.  My legs didn't feel great, and I didn't feel good at all...but I was running pretty strong, and feeling quite good.  At some point (about a mile and a half),  I felt that all too familiar "bee sting" sensation in my right calf.  It wasn't too bad--like a bee that didn't quite get its stinger all the way in, but it did break the skin.  I decided to ignore it, thinking it would go away. 
 It didn't.  It kept getting worse.  I walked a bit and told Daisy I wasn't going to make it.  She thought I meant the eight we had originally planned to go...I meant to the end of the trail.  I tried to run again after a few steps, but it really did hurt.  I had some flashbacks to Cotton Row training and all the pain I had (off and on...probably worse after eating this nameless food that I found out my body can't tolerate according to blood tests).  I tried to stretch, but it didn't feel muscle related.  It feels like it's in the bone...the same way it felt before.

I tried rubbing on the spot that hurt-and that just made it hurt SIGNIFICANTLY more.  I decided that walking hurt at least as much as running, so when we got out to the road,  I decided to go ahead and run the rest of the way.  The pain let up a bit, but when we stopped it was almost excruciating.

There is a very big part of me that doesn't want it to be the food that I think it is...because that would mean I could eat it!  But, at the same time, if it's the food, and giving it up is all I have to do in order to run better.  I think I would be able to give it up.  I think I would be able to say "I've had enough of this food."  I'd much rather say "enough" to the food than to say "enough" to my runs.

Thanks for stopping in, come again soon!
:D

2 comments:

  1. It's onions, isn't it? (LOL)

    Garlic is SO good, I agree. But I'm with you -- its worth giving up to be able to run well. I hope you figure it out soon my friend!

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  2. Oh my, I didn't know "that" food could cause a problem like that. It is one of my very favorites. Prayers for strength for you.

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Don't hold back, tell it like it is....