Promise of Pain Delivered and the Three Erics

I had an email conversation recently with Eric Charette about marathon training.  I was concerned about trying to figure out what pace I needed to be running.  The pace outlined in my plan was slower than what I believed it needed to be, but at the same time, I didn't want to over reach and end up getting injured.  He gave me some good information and then had this to say:

This is going to hurt... I promise you that.  This is going to be difficult.  I promise you that.  But you have it in you to do it.

I lived out his promise on the track yesterday.

I had missed our group workout Wednesday night so I ended up having to do speed work on my own.  It might have been okay except I swam first...on an empty stomach...and it turned into a speed work session also.  See, I have the good fortune of being able to swim with a Master's coach who tells me what to do in the moment so I have no idea what's coming up next.  Yesterday he had me finish the morning with 6 X 100 FAST...I did my best to do my best--I seriously nearly puked in the pool!!  I've never pushed myself THAT hard for THAT long.

After I changed from my swim suit to my running outfit, I started mental negotiations.  "I haven't eaten anything, I should eat then go back out later for the track workout.  I'm EXHAUSTED from the swim...it's okay to skip a speed workout, that's life, right?  If I go ahead and do it, I have an excuse not to push as hard or stop it early.  I don't want to get hurt."

There it was..."hurt"...  I immediately flashed back to Eric's words of wisdom.  He promised it WOULD hurt.  He promised it WOULD be difficult.  But he also told me I had it in me to do it.  (There is a difference between "hurt" and "injured" and I'm learning it's really not okay NOT to push into the pain cave under the guise of injury protection.)

So...THANKS TO ERIC, for making that promise and giving me the same boost so many other great friends have given me in the past (believing I CAN do "it"), I drove straight to the track!!  The workout was supposed to be a mile warm up, 12 X 400 -every other one at a 2:15ish pace, then a mile cool down.  I didn't want to stress out about the pacing so I just decided to give it all I had each time and not look at my watch.  The first time around I honestly thought I wouldn't be able to do it a second time.  After the recover 400... I did in fact do it again, but it felt like it took me a lot longer.   After a second recovery, on my third fast 400, I wasn't sure I was going to make it all the way around.  When I hit about the 250 yard "mark", Eric's words SCREAMED in my head...over and over for 150 yards.

HE PROMISED THIS WAS GOING TO HURT...HE WAS RIGHT!!!

After the third recovery I didn't want to go a fourth time...but I knew I still had 3 more fast 400s left to finish what was on my plan for the day.  About that time words from another Eric (Patterson) rang in my ears...  SUCK IT UP BUTTERCUP!!  I remembered a post he wrote a long time ago about behaving in accordance with a decision previously made-something that has stuck with me ever since reading it-and I started my fourth fast 400, although after about 200 it felt like I was going to hurl the previous night's dinner (since I had yet to eat breakfast)...or maybe pass out before I made it all the way around the track.

I almost quit then, sure I wasn't even coming close to my target pace goal since I could feel myself slowing.  But, during my fourth recovery I remembered too many quotes from yet another Eric (Doehrman) to list.  So on my fourth and fifth fast 400s I thought something about giving less than 100% in training means not being able to give 100% in a race...good athletes train even when they don't feel like it...the need for being comfortable in the PAIN CAVE...and (even though I was on a flat track, for some reason I could hear Eric D. saying:) "WE LOVE HILLS--THEY MAKE US STRONG!!!  (During the 5th recovery all I could think was BREATH, don't puke...)

As I started my sixth and final fast 400...all three Eric's were running along side of me (at what amounts to a jogging pace for them)...yelling at me.  In a good way.  In an encouraging way.  In an inspiring way.  They were all telling me to embrace the pain and KEEP RUNNING!! PUSH!!!  FASTER!!!  JUST A FEW MORE SECONDS!!!

As I jogged/walked my final recovery 400, and then ran/jogged my mile cool down, I looked at my times.

1:38 (6:34 pace)
1:41 (6:46 pace)
1:44 (6:58 pace)
1:46 (7:06 pace)
1:47 (7:10 pace)
1:42 (6:50 pace)

I like how even though the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th intervals did get progressively slower...I was able to speed up for the last one (with the help of the three Eric's yelling at me all along the way!!).

I know those are not fast times for most people...but I think for most 42 year old women who have been running less than 2 years, that's not too stinking bad!!!  

Eric was right.

Thanks for stopping in.  Come again soon!

Big Girls Do Cry...

...but trail-running big girls wait until after they finish their workout!

Remember my story about The (Almost) Princess and the Blister?  I told you my theory on pain--it's relative.  For the princess, sleeping on a pea caused her GREAT discomfort (and bruises if I remember the story correctly) whereas someone who was used to sleeping on rocks would have been able to rest like a bear in hibernation on that "lumpy" bed.
I went on in that post to tell you about a blister that had me limping around until I saw a picture of Eric Charette's, foot which caused me to realize just how much of a ...princess... I really (was).

 That post was written in May of last year. 

Since that time, I've written several posts about pain and how running through it has helped me find out what I'm made of.  My very last post (ironically) was on the Pain Garden.   I talked the big talk about how I planned to toughen up, find my pain threshold and get comfortable being uncomfortable.  (I didn't use those exact words, but that's what I meant.)

***FOR THE RECORD***  Let me be perfectly clear...there is NOTHING about pain that should EVER be associated with a garden, unless it looks like this:

Well, you know how the saying goes...be careful what you wish for....

The inside of my elbow..

I started my yesterday at the pool.  Several times during my 50 (long course) laps, I smacked my elbow on those things they mislabel as "lane ropes".  Who are they trying to fool?  "Ropes" don't hurt like that!  I remember thinking how bruised I was going to be all because I wanted to take up as little space as possible in the lane (since I was sharing with four very fast men).  I dressed to go run trails and winced with pain as my clothes brushed against my near-hematoma.

I made a note to self:  don't write about pain again.

My running buddies are both out of town so the plan was to RUN HARD.  It was early but already hot and humid.  I did not get enough shut eye the night before (for some reason I haven't been able to sleep well after our group workouts).  I'm struggling with "fueling"...one banana really isn't enough to get me through 2500 meters and a 3.something mile trail run.  I was dragging, but fighting it.  I kept thinking pain wasn't the right word to describe what I felt...more like just pain TIRED.  I kept trying to increase my heart rate, but fatigue held me back.  It seems I usually tire out LONG before I hurt.  I wondered how to get past THAT.  I mentally smirked over how easy it is to push past pain, but much harder to keep going when you're depleted of all energy.

As I occupied my mind with thoughts like, "listen, run hard just three more minutes and then you can walk" and "pick those feet up girl, get some pep in your step...you don't want to---"  IT happened.  I became a full-fledged, honest-to-goodness TRAIL RUNNER as I tripped over a root and flew through the air with the greatest of awkwardness...sliding on my hands and knees, all the while praying I didn't break anything.  ((Go back to this post where I tell you my greatest fear, related to solo trail running, is having to limp/crawl out of the woods!))  As soon as I stopped sliding, my second thought was for my new watch and my phone (which was strapped to my arm).

I'd like to say I got up and just started running again...and I did, but not without yelling out a pre-school curse word (...fart...) MANY, MANY, times.  Unfortunately for me this couldn't have happened in a secluded section of wilderness.  Oh no, it had to happen RIGHT NEXT TO OCCUPIED CABINS.  How did I know they were occupied?  Because the people were coming out as I was blasting my quasi-obscenities!!  I'm sure they were having a good laugh...or maybe they didn't see/hear me because no one even asked if I was okay.

Anyway...after only a few seconds (enough to say the word of the day about 6 or 7 times), I told myself I needed to get back to the car.  My first thought was to walk-okay, who am I kidding, hobble- the rest of the way.  That's when it hit me!!  THIS was my chance to push through pain.  I remembered all the stories I've heard of runners who have fallen and gotten up to finish strong.  I remembered a video I saw not long ago...


and I pushed as hard as I could to finish STRONG (much harder than I imagined possible for a "princess").

When I got back to the car, I washed off the blood and proceeded to call my husband... and to cry like a big baby!  He basically told me to put my big girl panties on and thank God for the opportunity to work through some PAIN allowing me to toughen up!!  (But only after he asked if I wanted him to come home and take care of me...I LOVE THAT MAN!!)

I know I've whined in the past about minor issues, and I know it could have been a lot worse...but, see for yourself, this is more than just a scrape.

...after I washed it off...

For the record, this morning I rode 29 miles with the big boys (on average they were at the low end I was at the top end of easy, pushing middle effort at times).  I then spent 30 minutes on the elliptical.  All proof I am NOT actually a princess.  Just don't tell my husband!!

Thanks for stopping in, come again soon! :D

The Pain Garden

The other day I was doing some reading about tri training (yes, I am obsessive, but you should have already known that by now if you've read much of anything I've written!). I googled my Tri 201 coach, Eric Doehrman of E3 Multisport. Naturally he had a few Ezine articles out there. One of which was particularly interesting to me about the "Pain Cave".

I've heard about the "pain cave" before, but I can honestly say I don't think I've ever found mine. The truth is, I don't like pain. I avoid it like vampires avoid crosses or garlic. My philosophy has always been, "no pain, no pain" or "if it hurts, you're doing something wrong so stop." I used to think it was an effort to avoid injury, but the truth is, it's been an effort to avoid pain. However, I've come to realize if I want to seriously improve (and I do), I am going to have to get over my aversion to being uncomfortable.

Everything I've ever read in the past has basically said, in a nutshell, "HURT". So when I saw the title to Coach Eric's article, "Refine Your Mental Flexibility by Making the Most of Your Pain Cave", I was more than a little intrigued. I've read and re-read it several times since then in an attempt squeeze every drop of wisdom out of it as possible.

((Warning...for the rest of this post to make much sense, you should read the article--it's worth the click over, I promise!))

The same day I found the article, we had a group bike/run brick training session. As we were riding I kept trying to tell myself I was sitting on my pain cave couch watching Survivor. I remembered Rob's efforts in one particular challenge, obviously giving all he had to eek out a victory over much younger competitors. I thought of all my other favorite Survivor challengers (Stephanie, Matt, Colby...even Russell) and how they all gave ALL they had. (Stephanie even dislocated her shoulder in one battle, popped it back into place and then got right back into the fight.)

What was so ironic about it all (what I didn't realize until after the fact) was the fact I was imagining myself sitting on my comfy pain cave couch watching TV!!! I had skipped down to step five without an understanding of what he was trying to say. Was I uncomfortable?? Well, yes, a little bit. Was I even close to hurting? Not really. It's going to be hard for me to believe pain is a cross I can even get close to much less carry and bear.

The thing I think I "like" most about the article is the idea that I'm in control of my pain cave. I can leave it anytime I want. It seems silly because you might think I've exercised that option (leaving) pretty much my whole life. But, I think the option I've actually taken is the one not to find the address in the first place. To go on a recon mission to find it...to willingly drive up the driveway...to set up house there...to make it my home--not options I've explored.

Until now.

I've started wearing my heart rate monitor again. I'm in so much better shape now than I used to be. I will have to work considerably harder now than I did a year ago to get my heart rate up to the optimal training zone. It's time to stop cheating myself. It's time to make my workouts count toward my goals. I feel like up until now I've been liking the idea of being in a pain cave more than the idea of doing the work to get there.

One of my favorite books of all time is "The Secret Garden". I used to dream about having a garden like that. I have bought more magazines and books than I care to admit to in an effort to learn how to keep plants alive (I have a black thumb). I've done "research" on what to plant and where. I've gone so far as to plan out my ideal green space. The most forward progress I've made toward that end is to purchase sacrificial plants that have given their lives over to my dream but have not actually been released from their plastic containers to do what they do best-grow. To plant that garden will take WAY MORE work than any amount of planning or dreaming. It would require sweat and dirt and time. Not only that...I would have to devote countless hours pulling weeds, deadheading flowers, pruning...and all that work still might result in dead plants.

I might not ever be willing to invest my sweat and time into planting a "secret garden" of my own...but I AM willing to invest in my body. I want to know where my limits are...and I want to find ways to push past them. I want to find my pain cave...but I think I'll call it my pain garden. That sounds so much more inviting!!

I'm off to the pool to begin my journey.

Thanks for stopping in...come again soon!
:D