"You Never Have to Swim Again"

I had been nervous for a while about the swim at the Memphis 70.3. 

I don't really know why but my swim has been the last thing to "come back" since the brain disease/treatment. I don't know why but when I have tried to swim I just feel like I can't breathe. I can't relax. And nothing really seems to have helped...well, except swimming with fins! LOL

I started swimming regularly in April this year....usually three times a week. I started conservatively at about 1000 yards and then ramped up...but most of each swim session was with fins and a lot of each session was drills. 

How much I've been swimming the last 6 months...

Just before the Huntsville Sprint Tri I swam my first straight 400 yards without fins. I did that about 3 times before race day. I was VERY shocked and pleased that I did "okay" at the race. (9:16 for 400 is not great by any stretch of the imagination, but it's a congested swim and I didn't stop to hang on to the wall so I counted it as a win!)

Not only did I feel like I couldn't swim, swimming was also WIPING me OUT more than running or biking.

My last two 70.3 swims were Chattanooga in 2021 (downstream, point to point) and Augusta 2017 (FAST downstream, point to point). The Memphis swim was in a small lake. The good thing about the swim is no current...the bad thing is no current!

But going in I reasoned that all I really had to do was keep moving forward. With a 70 minute cutoff time, that is a 3:18 pace. Surely I could manage that.

I've never watched the weather hoping for a wetsuit swim. Ever. Until this year. Even though I only practiced twice, and even though the suit chafes my neck a little, I hoped and prayed for the race to be wetsuit legal. I wasn't going to wear it if it was optional because I think it gets too hot if the water isn't cold enough to be wetsuit legal. (Although I SERIOUSLY considered wearing my floaty pants if it was wetsuit optional...)

I was very happy to find out the water cooled down the week of the race to make it wetsuit legal!

I walked down to the swim start with my friends...two of them seeded much faster than Coach R and I did. We talked about how our swims had really tanked in recent years and we lamented over the loss...and we realized we were both signed up for Coach Tom's "swim school", hoping it would help. 

The closer we got to getting the water the more nervous I got. At one point I "jokingly" said "Nope, I changed my mind...I don't want to do this..." (Sure, I was "just joking"...sure...sure I was.) We inched closer and closer and all I could think was "okay, finish this and you never have to swim again...but you have to finish this swim...just keep moving forward and finish this swim..." I told Coach R if I finished in under an hour I would be happy...and then revised that and said if I finished in less than the cutoff I would be happy...

Before I knew it, it was time for me to walk in that water. It was warmer than the air temp which was nice. It was MURKY...REALLY REALLY MURKY. But I expected that because people had been talking about it on the Facebook page. I immediately moved out of the way to gather my wits and try to relax.

"You never have to swim again....but you have to swim now...you have to finish this swim..."

As I slowly started moving forward telling myself to "JUST RELAX FOR CRYING OUT LOUD" I saw a woman treading water...she looked panicked a little bit. I asked if she was okay. She said the water was just so cold she couldn't breathe. I encouraged her to focus on her exhale and to relax...really I was talking to myself-she just happened to be there to hear it!

After I made sure she was fine I started telling myself to just swim buoy to buoy. At the briefing they said they were about 100 yards apart. So I made a deal with myself...swim 100 yards then take a breather.

That didn't happen...it was more like swim 25 yards, take a breather, swim 5 strokes, take a breather, swim 50 yards, take a breather.

I am not kidding when I say I stopped every few yards!

SO MANY kayakers asked if I was okay. I would just give a thumbs-up and then start swimming again. 

It was only about 200 yards in a guy just ahead of me quit and took a ride to the shore on a medical boat....

"You never have to swim again, but you have to keep swimming NOW...you HAVE TO FINISH THIS SWIM."

There was a fog on the lake much like there was when I did IM Lake Tahoe (but the water, and the air, was MUCH warmer). It made seeing the next buoy a little challenging. The beauty of that was that I certainly couldn't see PAST the very next buoy so I really couldn't tell how much farther the turn was. When I got to the different colored buoy I was thinking that meant it was 1/2 way....I took a peek at my watch and saw "45"..."well, crap...if that is 1/2 way I'll NEVER finish in 70 minutes"

"You never have to swim again, but YOU CAN NOT QUIT....PERIOD..."

I realized if I missed the cutoff I wouldn't be pulled off the course because there were TONS of people behind me...I would "just" get a DQ for the race...but I'd be able to get on the bike and would be able to finish the race, cross the finish line and get a medal....so I stopped looking at my watch and I stopped trying to do the math of how far I had to go before I could stop swimming FOREVER...because I was sure I was never going to swim EVER again AS LONG AS I LIVE...

I FINALLY made it to the turn buoy...and then the next turn buoy.....and then just beyond that was the only right-hand turn on the course...and BAM....right into the sun. I knew it was coming but I wasn't fully prepared for the blinding light searing my eyeballs! 

Speaking of the sun...I got SO HOT I briefly considered taking my wetsuit off and giving it to a kayaker....but I realized that might be only thing keeping me on top of the water....

Let me take a step back here.....usually in open water swims I try to find someone who is going about my speed and someone who is sighting well and I draft off them. It's perfectly legal to draft on the swim...but it's a little risky if the person isn't sighting well. That was IMPOSSIBLE in this race because it was IMPOSSIBLE to see feet in front of me...I couldn't even see my hand in front of me!

When we turned into the sun I realized there was someone on my right side who seemed to be sighting well, so I tried to just stay with her...which worked for maybe 20 yards... 

(No idea what the blip to the shore is...probably my watch picking up on my wishful thinking!)

Thankfully it didn't take long to get to the ramp...and I was done swimming FOREVER and EVER....

Just after I got out of the water I clicked stop on my watch and saw "53:??"....and then I heard Dwayne's voice yelling my name saying "YOU MADE IT"! I knew some of my other friends/family were there but he was the only face I really locked onto...and I said in all sincerity "I DIDN'T DIE!"

I mean I wasn't REALLY afraid I would die...but I have NEVER been so happy to be out of the water.

Then I ran to transition to get on the bike...

Spoiler alert...I did swim again... I am submitting myself to Coach Tom's tutelage hoping it will help my swim improve. I know it's going to work...there is something almost magical about someone else programming workouts for you. His workouts are similar to what I've done before (CSS swimming) but he has added snorkel swimming which I've never done before. It's only been four sessions but I think I like it. 

It's a really good thing I'm liking it because the day after Memphis I registered for IMChoo 144.6 next September! I guess I will actually HAVE TO swim more...

Stay tuned for the bike and run recaps...