Putting the Last Bit of Hay in the Barn

In exactly one month I'll be "competing" in IM70.3 Memphis. I say "competing" because I've been (sort of) training for this race. I won't be competitive in the grand scheme of things-not against any other person in the race...but I will be competing against the voice in my head...okay, voiceS, plural. 

A couple of months ago I had made up my mind to train hard but life gets in the way when training isn't a top priority. But I have been at least sort of training. I'm swimming regularly, running 2-3 times a week, and riding my bike at least once a week (ugh). It's not the full-blown training plan I intended when I finally pulled the trigger and signed up for this race, but it's more than I've done consistently since 2015 when I was training for IMChoo.

I'm not as ready as I would like, but I still have a month to go. 

Let me be clear--you should not/can not train for a 70.3 in a month. But that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying I intend to get the last bit of "hay in the barn" before race day by being very intentional about what I'm doing. Last year when I did IM70.3 Choo I had done MUCH less before race day and I at least finished and I felt good the next day (other than a blister on my foot). My time was just barely less than the cutoff time, but I made it.

My A goal for this race is around 6:30. Looking at what I've been doing in training I think it's possible...not highly likely but possible. More likely my time will be between 6:45-7, but even that is huge given all that I've been through the last 7 years.

I still can't believe it's been that long since I started having big noticeable issues, but it was the fall of 2015.

For a while I thought it was just going to be a minor setback. I thought it was going to be like a minor injury that would resolve fairly quickly and I'd be back to my "normal" self, training and racing. My plan when I finished IMLT in 2013 was to do an Ironman every other year. But that plan was completely derailed. There was a time when I questioned if I'd ever be able to return to endurance sports.  Then it became apparent that I could "participate" in events with longer cutoff times, I questioned if I'd ever be able to "really race" again, 

But here I am!

One of the biggest things that has changed has been my thyroid meds.

When I was first having issues in the fall of 2015 I was on Synthroid. Somewhere along the way I switched to Tirosint (a more pure form of T4). Then after I finished the steroid treatments I was on a quest to figure out why my brain was attacked and ended up seeing a doctor in Kansas who put me on a desiccated thyroid hormone (first NatureThroid then Armour) which is a natural T4/T3 compound. But after a couple of years I realized what I was doing wasn't working as well as I wanted it to so I switched back to my local endocrinologist who put me back on Tirosint. But it didn't take long for me to see that wasn't the answer either. He ended up sending me to a different doctor who put me on a synthetic T4/T3 compound where he controlled the amounts of each I was getting. He also prescribed LDN (a medication that is meant to fight general autoimmunity).

At the same time I also got another iron infusion and I started eating Juice Plus. I almost immediately felt better. But I didn't get repeat blood work for my thyroid...fast forward to that fall (2021)...

We got to go out to Colorado Springs for 6 weeks. Just before we left I got another iron infusion. While we were there I started noticing a MARKED improvement in how I was feeling. Then the month after we got back (after I did the Boston (virtual) Marathon-on the course) I got covid.

My immune system went completely haywire. When I got my thyroid numbers checked they were WAY WAY WAY off (VERY high antibodies, high TSH, low T4, low T3). We figured it was due to covid and he increased my LDN. But that didn't work. So he increased my T4 and T3. But that still hasn't completely worked (my numbers are still not where they need to be).

I think my thyroid hasn't ever really been "right". I think it was close but not really ideal between late 2010 and fall 2015. But I don't think it's been even close since then. I don't think it's really good even now.

The thyroid impacts EVERY SINGLE CELL in your body! It regulates the rate your cells use energy. So if the thyroid isn't working properly you might be either amped up (hyperthyroid) or sluggish (hypothyroid). 

So, in the analogy of putting hay in the barn (training)...if the thyroid is slow to produce or if it isn't converting what your body makes (T4) into what your body uses (T3) then you will not be producing much hay, not matter what you try to do...the hay is going to be VERY SLOW GROWING and you'll be able to store VERY LITTLE of it in the barn. Now, I think I'm doing better than I have been in a VERY LONG TIME, but I'm still not where I need to be.

But I'm so much farther along than I have been in the last 7 years! I've FINALLY started losing weight...I'm at my lowest weight since early 2016. I'm running better than I have since like fall of 2015! My swim is not great...I don't understand why but it's just not. I'm attributing it to a lack of upper body strength which is the most likely culprit. My bike is "fine"...but I REALLY need to put more time in the saddle. The hard part about bike training is that Dwayne REALLY does not want me riding anywhere except the Arsenal-that makes it nearly impossible to get good miles in. I do have a trainer, but it's a PAIN to take the back tire on and off...(excuses excuses...)

Well...I have one more month until race day! By this time a month from now I should be on the run (I better be on the run by now!). I'm so stinking excited!

Negotiations

It's been a while since I have run with the intention of running "as fast as I can"....a LONG LONG while. Because I had not run the Cookie Dash 5K on the new course I decided to sign up and attempt to "race" it. My A goal was to run the whole thing, but I knew going in that was unrealistic because I haven't run more than a full mile straight since last fall. (When we came back from living in Colorado Springs for 6 weeks I ran 3.5 miles of trails without stopping!! I thought I was queen of the world!)

One fact I wasn't considering-this is now an afternoon race. I do NOT like running in the afternoon. I don't see how people do it. I feel like if I haven't gotten my workout in by 10am the day is lost! That is especially true for running! 

Dwayne volunteered to make cookies for the race-which I found amusing since he NEVER cooks/bakes. But he did this all on his own! (They were the break and bake cookies, but he made a special trip to the store to buy them and baked them all himself-like 5 dozen (maybe more!?))

We loaded up the cookies and headed to the race. On the way we saw what should have been a TERRIBLE wreck! Thankfully it happened at the exact right time for us to avoid being hit head on, and at the exact right time for it to only be a single vehicle accident where no one ended up hurt. Guard rails SAVE LIVES! But it really shook me up to say the least. We also found out there was STANDING WATER in Dwayne's back seat (but that's another story for another day).

We got to the race; Dwayne scooted off to get in place to volunteer, I visited the potty and then lined up in what I thought was about the middle of the pack. But when the race started it seemed as though I was in the back.

Almost immediately I felt like I was the last person running and every person was running off and leaving me. I looked down to check my pace about 1/3 mile in-8:45. I wasn't running slow but it honestly felt as though EVERYONE was running off and leaving me. Small children, a man with a cane, a woman pushing a stroller...what felt like EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the race was leaving me in their dust. It was mind-blowing and oh so discouraging. I kept thinking "how is everyone here so fast!?" I questioned my data but I certainly felt like I was running "fast".

I knew I couldn't keep it up, so I started negotiating with myself. I landed on "I'll run 5 minutes and walk 1 minute"...after all I had been doing a 3/1 or a 4/1 leading up to this race so 5/1 was pushing it. I was also running much faster than usual. That first 5 minutes was an average pace of 9:18. After my minute walk break I started running again-with no hope of catching the runners in front of me (but I did realize I was indeed not dead last). My second 5 minute run was an average of 9:22. I was pleased that I hadn't slowed too much, but I also didn't think I could keep up with that interval. My heart rate was 177 which was fairly high for me. 

The negotiations resumed..."Okay, I will walk until my heart rate is 155 and then run again"...that took about 75 seconds. Hmmm..."Okay,  I will run 4 minutes for the next interval"...This time my heart rate got up to 179 but my average pace dropped to 9:19.

I was about 1/2 done and I was feeling it. I was wishing at that point that I had signed up for the one mile instead of the 5K. I kept playing "leap frog" with several people. One pair was a woman I know who is a little older than me (and a lot faster than me) running with a young gal. They were running solid so when I walked they passed me but when I ran I passed them. But they were talking NON STOP and I was doing good just to BREATHE.

After the 3rd "long" interval I started to walk but realized the aid station was just up ahead so I forced myself to "run" to it. That's when I saw my sweet husband! He and one other guy were the only 2 working the aid station. 

I SERIOUSLY considered stopping to help them but I quickly realized they didn't need help because I was so close to the back of the pack we were spread far enough out that two people could easily cover it! At that point my overall average was 9:47. I just couldn't understand how everyone was SO FAST in this race. Dwayne told me later that I was NOWHERE near the back. I think it was just a case of it being a very small race so everyone was very spread out along the course.

I grabbed water from Dwayne and he asked my how I was doing. I really couldn't talk at that point but shook my head and kept going.

Dwayne "gets on to me" when we run together because I talk A LOT. He says "if you wouldn't talk so much you could run faster". But 1) when I'm running with him talking IS the point, 2) I like talking more than running and 3) I haven't really thought about running "fast" in a VERY VERY long time. Well, on this day, in this race, I couldn't talk. I could barely tell the volunteers thank you.

After I left the aid station I renegotiated my interval to 1/1. My HR dropped to 154 and went up to 172 then back down to 153 for the next walk break.

I had a chat to remind myself my goal was to "race"...to "push". My HR was recovering quickly so I renegotiated again to 1 minute of running and :30 of walking. I only had a mile to go. Ideally I would just run it. I briefly considered slowing down to try to run the whole last mile, but I truly felt I would have a lower average pace if I did the interval so that's what I landed on, for the next 3 intervals.

At some point I passed a friend of mine who passed me back just after the aid station. We might have played leapfrog just a bit but at some point he left me behind. He was close enough that I thought I might be able to catch him so I set my sights on him. About that time a woman and her daughter who looked to be about 8 or 9 passed me chatting about my hat...I was wearing my Flying Pig hat (not from the Flying Pig race, just a hat with flying pigs on it). I felt so very discouraged that I was running as hard as I possibly could and this little girl was passing me, chatting it up with her mother.

I don't remember a time I felt so utterly discouraged in a race. It was the strangest feeling. I honestly couldn't figure out how EVERYONE was passing me so easily. It wasn't as if I was running super slow, my overall average at that point was about 10:11 which "should be" about middle ground for a 5K. (It WAS about middle ground, but at the time it didn't FEEL like it!)

When I got to where I could see the finish I had about 1/3 mile to go. I kept telling myself to just RUN the whole thing but my HR was telling me to take the :30 walk breaks. Even though the breaks weren't enough to bring it down more than a beat or two it was preventing it from climbing higher.

When I hit 3 miles I ran in the last .1 in 90 seconds at an 8:26 pace (peak HR of 182) to finish in 31:57. I finished 174th place out of 324. Solidly in the middle of the bell curve, a bit slower than 1/2 way, and certainly NOT in the very back like it felt. I was 8th out of 16 in my age group (17 really but the last one was the sweeper so I'm not counting her). Interesting side note, the female masters winner was 63 years old and she ran a 21:42!!

When I take a big step back and examine my performance against the backdrop of my "training" I did phenomenally well! That's the fastest 5K I've run in 7 years!! The closest I've come to that time was a 5K I ran with Dwayne in 2019 at John Hunt Park. We ran it in 33:34 with him pushing me the whole time. Before that I ran a 5K training run in 31:15 (9:54 pace) (surely with Dwayne) in October 2015, and a 5K run in 30:01 (9:09 pace) that was much of the Cookie Dash course (but backwards) on a random Tuesday morning. 

I completely believe I still have speed in me...I just have to train it back out!

Since Cookie Dash I've made the decision, and signed up for, Memphis 70.3 (October 1st). I've been swimming 3 times a week for a few weeks now, and I've been running fairly consistently on Tuesday and Thursday. I have ridden my bike twice...I've already "trained" more than I did for my last 70.3!! But the plan is to ACTUALLY train, with an actual plan that I will write up today that will include not only running, biking and swimming but yoga and strength training!! 

Here goes something!