Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Paying the Tariff for Cotton Row

What happens when you have a bill you don't have the funds to pay for? Well, I guess there are choices. You don't pay the bill until you have the funds, or you borrow the money (loan of some kind or you pay on credit).

There is scene in the movie Ya Ya Sisterhood where Willetta tells Vivi something to the effect that at some point "everybody's bill comes due".

When you don't have the currency to pay a bill, and you borrow to pay for it, you not only have to pay the original amount, but there is always some kind of interest attached.

Running Cotton Row Monday was super fun. I loved it. I had a great time (experience, not finish time). AND...I didn't have the "funds" to "pay" for it. I cashed a check at a race and ended up with an overdrafted account.

Usually that analogy would have to do with training. When you don't train for something you either end up with a poor result, a long recovery time afterward or an injury. I wasn't trained but my body was able to withstand the distance enough that I wasn't injured. But I have taken a pretty big hit neurologically.

Here's the thing. I preach all the time about how ALL STRESS GOES IN THE SAME BUCKET. But I'm a hypocrite. I try to segment my life into neat piles and stacks. I had convinced myself that I could handle a 10K because I could handle it physically. I mean I considered it might not be the best thing given my condition...but only long enough to stick my head back in the sand and ignore (what is probably) the truth. That (possible) truth is that I should not have put that stress on my brain.

The big problem here is that I don't want any of this to be true. I don't want to see it. I don't want to acknowledge it. There are so many good analogies I can use here, but I'll stick with the finance one.

When a person has a bill they don't have the money for and the borrow to pay it, they go into debt. If they just ignore that debt, the debt grows. It doesn't go away just because they want it to. Sure, that person can file bankruptcy, but there are consequences that will follow that person for years after that decision to abandon the debt. And, there are even more far reaching consequences because that debt didn't get paid so someone didn't collect. Your debt doesn't just impact you.

The decision for me to run Cotton Row wasn't a BAD one because I've learned another lesson. (I don't completely know what that lesson is just yet because it's like a puzzle that I'm putting together and I don't have all the pieces in place yet.) Or, to keep the same analogy going I don't have all my debits and credits outlined in a good solid budget just yet.

Going on a trip isn't a bad idea. But when you go on a trip that you haven't saved for, and you haven't figured out how you will pay for it, you might have a GREAT time when you are gone, but you have to come home sometime.

I wish I had a more well thought out post to give you here, but my account is overdrawn and my brain simply isn't working like it should....please stick around until I've had time to make some deposits into my account. :D

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