Saturday, February 23, 2013

Not How Far I've Come, Not Where I'm Going...but Where I'm AT!

As I was writing my last post, particularly about the "almost swim workout" I did Thursday before last, it made me stop and think about how far I've come since I started this journey just barely over three years ago.  (I won't recap here because I do that at the end of every year.

Although I do think it's important to take time to look back every now and then, it can be a bit distracting, especially when you've back tracked a bit, or when you're side-lined due to injury.  I can tend to get stuck on "well, I was doing well...but then THIS happened..."

Remember when you moved to the "big calculator"?
Last Saturday I was certainly experiencing that distraction and feeling all sorry for myself when I got a call from one of my athletes, some texts from another, and a FaceBook tag from yet another.  One of them had run her very first 5K one year ago in 39ish minutes.  She ran the same course last week in 28 something, and won 3rd in her age group.  To top it off, the run was just part of a long "slow" run (with miles before and after the event)!!

I could so clearly see how far they had come in such a short time and reminded myself that looking back, when you're not as far along as you have been, shouldn't be used as a tool to beat yourself up (GASP!).  It should be a reminder there's no reason I can't get back there again and move beyond that spot.

Why is it we (okay, I'll own it an say "I")...why is it I have such a hard time realizing how far I've come?  Even harder is imagining all I can do with hard work.  But even more difficult...I have the hardest time focusing on, and more importantly, HONORING, where I'm at right now.

At the beginning of every Spin class I teach, I tell everyone to think about what they came to get out of that class ("think about...why you're here").  I remind them throughout the class to not think about what happened yesterday or what they have to do later on, but to stay focused on their individual goal for that moment in time....and to give it all they have to give.  It's pretty selfish really, because I know it helps me to stay focused...I don't know if it really helps anyone else or not!  :D

And, remember when you lost the extra wheels?
It's too easy to get caught up in thinking about anything other than where I'm at on this journey RIGHT NOW, mainly because it's usually not where I WANT to be!!  But...man...that's a GREAT thing.  That edge of discontentment means I'm driven.  It means I want more than to stay put.  I saw a picture on FaceBook that said, "One day I want to honestly say, 'I made it!'"  I don't know...I can see saying that (and I have said it at the end of long workouts or at a finish line) and feeling it ("I've made it") but only for a moment, not with the finality that picture implies.  I have come to love that part of me that never really feels like I've done "my best". 

The thing I'm coming to realize is I don't have to give up my drive and my desire to do better in order to appreciate where I'm at right now.  In fact, honoring this moment in time is part of the way I will be able to get better.  I look at what I'm doing now.  This day.  This workout.  This moment.  If I'm giving all I have to give to make the training session what it needs to be, I can say, "YES!!  That's great..."  When I can stay focused on the task at hand I am able to give it all I have.  If I'm distracted-thinking about anything else other than what I'm doing-I'm NOT giving all I have.  It's as simple as that.

Time to go give all I have to my swim this morning.  All I have today is not all I had a few months ago, and it's not much compared to all I hope to have next month....but I'll give it what I've got on this day.

Thanks for stopping in, come again soon.  :D

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