Down But Not Out

Well...I was finally able to have an (almost) "real" swim workout Thursday.  YAY!  I'm not going into details because I know what I did, what I'm calling an "almost-real workout" is more than some people can do at all.  I'm not comparing where I'm at with anyone else and don't want anyone else comparing where they are with me.  I am however comparing where I'm at now with where I've been...and it's not even close.  As "inconsequential" as the "almost" swim workout seemed to me, I was pleased and felt like it was a good start....and then I started getting sick.  This is the worst I've felt in a very long time.  Terrible cough, fever...and now my throat is really sore from coughing so much.  I was able to teach Spin on Friday morning*, even though I coughed all the way through it; the sweat felt so darn good!  But after that I put on my PJs and haven't changed, or gotten off the couch (other than to move to the bed) since then. 

I can honestly say I have been less than happy.

As I said last month, pretty much all I've been able to do since early December is spin (and ride my bike).  I have had 3 walk/runs of up to 4.5 miles (during one I was able to run one whole mile straight), but they have all left my arm/shoulder VERY sore.  I was finally feeling like I would be able to make a slow comeback when I started sounding like Typhoid Mary!  I had planned to run Friday afternoon, but decided to just wait until Saturday since I would surely feel better the next day.  When I woke up I wasn't feeling 100%, but I just knew running would certainly bring that percentage up....and then I got out of bed.  Wow...as soon as I moved, I put "Mary" to shame; I thought for sure I would actually cough up a lung!!  And, I had a fever of 99.6 which rose later on in the day.  No run for me.

That "hag in my head" came back in full force with her accusatory and condescending words..How pathetic.  Here you are, planning to complete an IronMan in SEVEN MONTHS and you can't even swim X yards (nope-not going to tell you where I'm at), and you can't even run for more than a mile without walking (not because my legs or cardio are giving out---it's my stinking left ARM!!!)  --How pathetic is that--can't run because my arm hurts so bad??!!

I'm not going to lie, she was getting the best of me yesterday. 

And then I read a FaceBook post by a friend of mine who is injured.  She is feeling very down about it and super bummed because she had just started gaining momentum in training, and then BAM! she's out for an undetermined amount of time.  As usual, I could think of all the right things to say (well, in my mind anyway--those words may have been less than helpful to her!), but as I was telling her, "focus on all you CAN do, not on what you can't" I realized I had to practice what I was preaching!!

I woke up this morning being reminded...I may be down, but I'm not out.  The only way I'd be out is if I give up.  That's crazy.  I didn't work this hard to get to where I'm at (okay, where I was before I ended up where I'm currently at), just to give up!!  What if Rocky had done that??!!  (Yes, I know it's fiction, but so what?)  Rocky had potential and then ...well, I'm not sure what happened (did his coach give up on him because he became a loan-shark collector??) ...anyway, he was given the chance to make a comeback by fighting Apollo Creed.  He was knocked down and everyone was telling him to just stay down....but he knew he was not out.  He knew he still had fight left in him!

Spoiler alert, just in case you haven't seen the movie and you don't want to know what happened...skip this paragraph and go rent it-it's such a GREAT movie!!  Rocky didn't win that fight...but he didn't get knocked out either!!  He goes on (in Rocky II) to trade blows with Apollo in the 15th round that sent them both falling to the mat.  Because Rocky was determined to GET BACK UP, Apollo was counted out and Rocky (finally) became the Heavy Weight Champion of the World!!!  (:::and the crowd CHEERS!!!:::)

So, I have a choice.  I can whine and complain about where I'm at right now (which feels like what I imagine Rocky was feeling as he was flat on his face), or I can get back up and keep on moving forward (however slow that might be right now).

I can focus on where I've been or where I want to go, or I can stay focused on where I am, and what I need to do, right now.  And, for now that means drinking some more hot tea!!


*(I didn't really think I was sick Friday morning...I thought it was just a reaction from all the dairy I had earlier in the week.  I did, however, not use the mic-just in case. (So if I was sick I wouldn't be spreading my germs.))