Chapter Five Academy

Sixteen years ago I was out of shape, in a "bad marriage", working a very high-stress job, and although I didn't realize it I was physically, mentally and spiritually unhealthy.

Let me back WAY up. Stay with me here....

My parents got divorced when I was very young. My biological father was an electrician who worked out of state...in any state but the one we lived in. When he was home, he and my mom argued...angrily, loudly and non-stop. They got divorced when I was in kindergarten. We moved from Garland, Texas to North Little Rock, Arkansas. My mom started dating a man who I called my father after they got married a few years later. I'll skip the details of my childhood story. I mean, an evil witch didn't send me into the woods, put me to sleep, or feed me a poisoned apple, but suffice it to say it was the worst part of my fairy tale...

I had TERRIBLE stomach issues. In the third grade I was put on a special diet. The main thing I remember is that I wasn't allowed to drink milk and I couldn't eat my usual bologna and cheese (food) sandwich. I was also a bedwetter. I would have thought it was caused by a physical issue, but it finally stopped when I wet the bed of a friend I had spent the night with! I was MORTIFIED...and I tried, in vain, to lie saying she did it. I'm sure she told everyone in school. Thankfully she moved away and, that I know of, that reputation didn't follow me.

My "father" prevented me from having any semblance of a "normal" youth experience so making friends was exceptionally hard. And, although I was smart, I wasn't part of the really smart crowd. I dated a few guys in high school and had a few "friends" but I was more or less, for all intents and purposes, alone.

I joined the Army National Guard as a senior in high school. Both of my parents were in the Guard (my mom was a Warrant Officer and my "dad" was a Command Sargent Major), so that path seemed natural. A couple of years later I met my first husband. He was (is) a big man...a big teddy bear who loved me fiercely. We didn't know each other long but I saw him as a protector and a way out of a very bad situation at home. We got married and the stomach issues from years before came crashing back. I did every test the doctors could think of. I took several kinds of medicine. Nothing worked to calm the debilitating pain I experienced daily....until I met a doctor who explained to me my issue was stress-related. I tried to tell him I was not a stressed individual. I was handling my life "just fine thank you very much". 

After all I was going to school full time with a really good GPA. I was in Officer Candidate School. I was newly married. And I was working full time. ...all withOUT being stressed about any of it. I can still hear him calmly telling me my body was trying to tell me how stressed I really was. I did try to listen but I simply didn't know what to DO with that information. How could I fight this invisible stress monster? 

Well...I started by ending my military "career", finishing school, having two kids, moving out to the country, getting divorced and taking a job I really didn't want but paid the bills. Along the way, I started what would be a lifetime of therapy trying to undo the knots of my existence. Shortly after ending my first marriage, I started my second one. 

Here's the thing, when someone says a marriage is bad what they really mean is the people in the marriage are unhealthy. Don't pounce on me here, but even if one spouse is abusive, the abused spouse is obviously NOT healthy or they wouldn't be in that relationship in the first place! My marriage wasn't abusive, but it was far from healthy because neither of us were healthy individuals. In 2006 that marriage ended.

Allow me to take an important side trail for a moment. When I was little my parents took me to church on the requisite holidays-Easter and Christmas. When my mom remarried, my step-sister took me to church with her almost every week. It was a "walk the aisle now and be washed in the holy water so you don't go to hell" kind of church. Naturally, I walked the aisle...but I realized the next morning I was still in hell. That water didn't do anything for me. Some very life-changing experiences pointed me to the God I would eventually come to know but that relationship started out more like an awkward blind date that didn't gain any traction for years to come. When I got married I wanted us to "have a church family" but the truth is I had no idea what "family" was even supposed to look like, and church was not the place to find out! When I married my second husband we settled into a routine that involved going to "God's house" every week but He was never fully invited into ours...

...until the night I came home to a half empty shell. I had taken my kids to their dads for the weekend and on the way home it started snowing. My husband had texted me several days earlier (on Valentine's Day no less) to tell me he was leaving. While I was at work and dropping off the kids he was dividing our property.

That is the night I finally surrendered my life to my creator. I've spent the last 15 years laying my burdens at the foot of the cross (and taking them back up...and laying them back down...depending on how strong I'm feeling at any given moment!).

God has led me to the healthiest relationships I've ever had in my life (including a wonderful Prince Charming of a husband!)...this has happened because I've continued to become a healthy individual...in mind, body and spirt.

But, as I have been reading in "The Body Keeps the Score" (written by Bessel van der Kolk), childhood trauma (or big-T Trauma) stays in your body and wreaks havoc. Combine that with years of a Standard American Diet and you have a recipe for all kinds of gut/brain/body malfunction.

My personal malfunction came to a massive exploding head in 2016 when I was diagnosed with Autoimmune Encephalopathy. I had previously been diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis (autoimmune thyroid disease). It seemed my body was now attacking my brain!

I had spent the seven years prior to that horrible disease and crushing diagnosis trying to figure out why my body would want to attack itself. Doctors kept telling me "it just happens" but that didn't make sense in my world. I went back and forth between "wanting to take control" of my health and believing there was nothing I could do about it. Through this process, I was introduced to triathlon and to Functional Nutrition. I became an Ironman triathlete, an ultramarathoner, a triathlon coach, started a kids triathlon non-profit (Omni Kids Tri), and (when the disease and it's treatment coupled with Covid took the fullness of all of that away from me) I became a nutrition coach.

One more little side trail and we'll come full circle to the title of this post!

I remember when I started coaching. I had just discovered triathlon and was loving it. I "knew" there was no way I could coach THREE sports I barely knew myself so I took the RRCA run coaching certification course (actually after taking on two paying clients, but they knew I wasn't a "real coach" yet...actually they knew I was a real coach but I didn't feel like I was because I didn't have that piece of paper to confirm it yet!). With just a little encouragement I realized it was silly to think I couldn't do what I felt called to do and quickly obtained my USA Triathlon Level One and Youth Junior certifications.

This same kind of thing happened last year when I got my Precision Nutrition Level One nutrition coaching certification. What I really wanted was to be a Functional Nutrition Counselor but felt like that was too big of a leap...until the distance between where I was and where I wanted to be was made shorter by the stepping stone of the PN course!

And...here we are...why I started this post!! If you are still with me I hope the ride was worth it...

Last year when I started the Functional Nutrition Alliance Full Body Systems course I spent days praying and searching for the perfect name for my new business that had not yet taken shape. I REALLY wanted to call it Sophrosyne but my trusted confidants STRONGLY advised against it.

And then God led me to "Autobioghray in Five Short Chapters" by Portia Nelson. 

It's taken me a year to get more comfortable on this "other street" (and truth be told, I'm still "getting comfortable"- I think that will be the continuing story of my life!)...but I'm ready to coach you whenever you are ready....in running, in triathlon, in nutrition, or in functional nutrition. I'm not the author of your script, but I want to come alongside of you to help you continue your story.

Let's connect! You can reach out to me in the comments, or via Facebook. I want to hear from you. Thanks for stopping by and for sticking around! 

Where Do I Start?!

I have SO many people to thank who helped me get to the finish line of this race I'm pretty sure I will forget someone really important.  However, I'm still going to try!

In no particular order.

First off...I thank God.  I believe He gave me not only the desire to do this race but especially the strength to finish this race.  There were many times during the training and race day I didn't see how I could finish.  I believe faith that "I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me" kept me going when I really wanted to quit or didn't think I would/could make it.  All good things are a gift freely given and gratefully received.

My husband.  When I brought up the idea of doing this race to him, his first question was, "how much is this going to cost?".  Little did either of us know exactly what was going to be involved. I thought the entry fee was $800 (I think it was less-I don't even remember now).  I added in condo, air fare and food for the trip and came up with a figure he could live with.  I wasn't trying to hide the full cost, I just didn't think to add in all the nutrition, supplements, bike gearing, tires, wheels, doctor visits, coaching, extra shoes, goggles, butt butter, and..and..and.  There's no way to accurately add up the full cost, because I would have been training for SOMETHING so some of that would have been spent anyway.  Up until about a month or so ago every time I would mention the trip he would roll his eyes and groan.  When training started backing off and I started coming a little unglued, just when my confidence took a nose dive, he really stepped up to the plate and became a major support for me.  He started getting excited (or at least acting excited) about going to Tahoe.  As we prepared to leave, he became the chronicler of the whole IMLT experience.  (I'll make a slide show to add of all the photos he took...).  He was my human anchor, placed there directly by God Himself!

My kids.  Raising children is hard.  You aren't ever sure if you're doing it right until you aren't really doing it anymore!  Several times during the day when I would think, "this is the hardest thing I've ever done" I realized that it really was harder than raising my kids!!  I'd like to say I raised them right, but I think something that would be closer to the truth is that they are good kids whose lives I am blessed to be a part of!  I remember my mom telling me I could do anything I set my mind to and I didn't really get it...I think my kids get it and that pushed me to keep moving forward throughout this whole experience.

My best friend, Daisy,  She had to hear about this race pretty much daily for a year and a half!!  When my shoulder started bothering me, and certainly when it wasn't getting better, I know she really wanted to say, "This is CRAZY!  DON'T DO IT!!"  But, she didn't (at least if she did, she didn't repeat it enough times for me to hear it!).  She went with me to doctor appointments to find out what was going on and took me for the procedures I had to try to fix it.  She heard about training and fears and worries and excitement over and over and over again.  As the race drew closer she heard about my race plan until she could have recited it herself!  And...she was excited for me.  She prayed with me and for me.  And...she stayed up WAY past her bedtime to cheer me on (via text to my husband) and to watch me finish!

All my friends (including the athletes I coach who are all also friends).  I can not express how sweet it was to me the Saturday before the race to see all the posts on FaceBook of my friends doing my "goofy prerace pose)!!  I was crying all day long as they were posted.  It was so special to me to feel supported and cheered on by my friends back home.  It helped me feel like were right there with me.  Those photos ran through my mind on race day as did the videos some of the kids made for me.  Even my spin class peeps got in on the fun...and a few people I didn't even know!!!

All the doctors I saw in the last year.  Let's see, I went to Dr Tindall, Dr Layton, Dr Cosgrove, Dr Reto, Dr Donovan, Dr Olsen, Dr Carter, Dr Roberts and both Jays at Austin Physical Therapy.  All because my shoulder hurt and no one seemed to be able to keep it from hurting long enough for me to train for an Iron Man pain free!  :D  (See the thanks to God because it really did NOT bother me enough to even complain on race day...and I honestly don't think that was due to any of the doctors I saw because the week before it was bad enough I worried I wouldn't be able to finish the swim!)

All the people I have trained with.  I really like to train alone, but there have been numerous times throughout the year I joined a group run or group ride for one reason or another.  On most of those days, I may not have gotten it done without the company!

And...all the people who gave me advice, let me borrow stuff, told me about their experiences, asked me WHY...even the people who said they would NEVER do an Iron Man!  :D

Last, but certainly not least, my coaches.   My first coach is a friend of mine who told me about a little group she was working with for what ended up being my first open water swim triathlon (Iron Girl).  She gently ushered me into the world of triathlon and gave me a good push.  I remember her telling me, "if I can do it, anyone can do it!".  I didn't believe her completely because at the time I really didn't know how to swim very well!   Through that group I was led to my first swim coach, I'll call him Coach Coffee (because he has a cup of coffee in his hands from 5-7am every day at master swim!).  He patiently told me "do this not that" over and over until it began to sink in.  Next came Coach Eric.  Eric pushed me harder than anyone has in my life (even my drill sergeants and TAC officers in the army!!  It is because of him I even signed up for this race in the first place!  He said I could do it...turns out he was right!  (And...I'm sorry for all the bad words I called him while I was training and racing...).

... And then came Coach Martha with Endurance Concepts.  After I got hurt I wasn't sure if I would be coached for this race or not.  I didn't think I would be able to take instruction from someone because there were days I knew I just wouldn't be able to get a set workout done.  After all...this was one race out of my life...I have to live with my shoulder until I die!  A good friend told me about Coach Martha so I gave her a call.  She NEVER ONCE said I might need to rethink the race.  She kept telling me she knew I could do it (even when I'm sure she MUST have had doubts).  She worked closely with me to give me just enough to make sure I was prepared, but not so much I wouldn't make it to the start line.  When a coach takes on a cracked egg, it's hard to make sure it doesn't break.  Coach Martha not only didn't break me, she strengthened me in ways that went well beyond my physical body.

Thank you, muchas gracias, grazie mille, danke, merci beaucoup!!
:D

My Job as a Tailor

How I love my job!  Training athletes has to be the best job in the world!!  Thinking about what each individual needs in order to reach his/her specific personal goals and designing a plan for that one person with his/her strengths and limiters in mind...what could be better than that??  Getting to know how an athlete ticks, what can make them give their all, what motivates them when they think they have nothing left to give, seeing someone achieve a goal they never even thought was possible...it's so rewarding to me.

I had someone ask me the other day what exactly it is that I do.  Well...first of all I spend a lot of time researching/reading/learning as much as I can about how the body and mind work.  I worked hard this past year to earn some designations/certifications, but I also spend quite a bit of time doing "continuing education" that doesn't "count" for anything other than personal knowledge, in order to be the best at what I do.

Book knowledge is great, having a motivating attitude is wonderful, but, in order to train other people well I have to learn how to apply the things I know.  There are a lot of theories on training out there and there isn't one single thing that works on EVERY body.  How I train someone who was a competitive athlete in their younger years will not look anything like how I train a 40something woman who never exercised a day in her life.  There is no "one size fits all" plan out there that will get someone in their personal best shape.  It's the difference between a dress or suit off the rack and one that has been tailored to fit YOUR BODY.

As a professional coach, I design plans for individual athletes which will allow that person to reach his/her personal goals.  I have a group of athletes, but I don't issue group training plans.   A workout that is ideal for one athlete may not serve another athlete's purposes or goals at all.  I not only need to have a handle on my athlete's goals, I also strive to establish an understanding of what each one of them needs, not just in terms of workouts to get him/her to the desired result, but also what will motivate that athlete to give his/her best.  I don't necessarily have a pattern as much as I take each individual athlete and tailor a plan very specific to that person.

Does a dress or suit off the rack fit good enough?  Sometimes.  But other times, it's just wrong for you.  Unlike ill-fitting clothing, an ill-fitting training plan can result in underperformance, burnout or worse, injury.   We all have a limited amount of resources (time, money, energy).  I'm sure you'd rather have just the right items of clothing that fit perfectly rather than a closet full of clothes that fit "good enough".  In the same way, having a workout plan tailored to suit your personal goals, your training style, engineered in a way that will work best for you is an investment of your resources.

I've found many items of clothing in stores I have loved, but that just weren't a good fit for me.  I've bought things that just didn't work simply because everyone else was wearing that style.  When it comes to training, groups can be super fun but they may not be tailored enough to fit your personal goals.  Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against training groups, in fact I'll be co-leading one this spring.  However, it won't be your typical group.  Athletes will receive personal coaching in a group setting.  The plan will be the same for everyone, just like bridesmaids' dresses or rental tuxes.  However, instead of being a photographer at the wedding, telling everyone how great they look, I'll be one of the tailors on hand to make necessary alterations as needed to ensure a better fit.  We all like cheerleaders, but sometimes what we really need is a good tailor.

Flurry of Activity

Boy howdy I have a lot going on right now.  It started with vacation last week.  My husband, daughter and I went to the Smoky Mountains with my brother and sister-in-law and their two girls (well, I might as well say three girls because the oldest has a best friend who is more like a sister than just friend).  It was a great trip.

The list of activities of the next eight weeks is topped with my daughter leaving for college.  I'm going to miss her more than I can express in words.  ...I can't even say more than that about it or I won't be able to finish this post...

I didn't intentionally plan all the things that will take place after "the departing" it just kind of happened that way.  I personally believe it's my loving God taking care of me in ways I wouldn't even consider.

Since the college she is attending is six hours from home but also six hours closer to my grandparents' house, I decided to take the opportunity to go see them after "move in" day.  Since I have to be in Portland at the end of that week, I decided to fly out from Dallas instead of driving 12 hours back home to turn around and fly out from here.  In case you're new to the blog you might not know why I'm going to Portland.

If I could find a way to make that sentence animated and sparkle in neon flashiness, I would!!  (...oh, wait, with Google anything is possible!!  Thanks to this great site, I DID do that!!) 

I am SO GLAD I have that race to look forward to.  I've had a hard time getting beyond ...the other thing... that has to happen first, but when I allow my mind to venture beyond "D(eparture) Day" to think about the race,  I go from being overcome with sadness to being overcome with excitement!!  It's hard to believe after over a year and a half this race is finally going to happen for our team in just SIXTEEN DAYS!!!    Our team is number 440 and we have a start time of around 9:30 am.  I am runner number 10.  It will take us between 30-31 hours to complete the adventure!  30-31 hours in a Suburban with 5 other women (well, except for my time running which will be less than a total of about 3 hours).  I've been so consumed with other things I don't even honestly know how far I'm running or what the legs of the race look like...I just know I'm going to RUN!

The flurry of activity won't stop at the finish line.  After I fly back to Dallas, and visit with my grandparents a bit more, I'll drive back through to spend some more money on my daughter as I'm sure that will end up being necessary!  After I tear myself away from her yet again, I'll come back home just in time to leave again...this time for the USAT Level One Coaching Clinic in Rhode Island!!  I'm super excited about this clinic!  I absolutely LOVE coaching.  It feels like I'm about to enter yet another new stage of my life.  ((Although part of that new stage involves being an "empty nester"...but I don't want to talk about that part...))  It's hard to believe less than three years ago I wasn't even a runner, I didn't even really know how to swim and I didn't even own a bike!  I love this sport and have such a passion for helping other athletes realize their potential I can't wait to have the credentials to back all that love and passion up!!

But wait...the flurry doesn't even stop there!  Just like the infomercials say, "THERE'S MORE!!"

After I get back from Rhode Island I will have just under 3 weeks to finish up training for my first half ironman race!!   ((Yes, it will be my first since the swim was cancelled at NOLA70.3.))  I don't even know how ready I will be able to be for the race since there's so much going one between now and then.  Funny...there's no doubt in my mind I will finish the race.  That's a really good feeling.  The question becomes how WELL will I finish?!

A lot is going to happen before that question can be answered.  I'm just so very thankful the flurry of activity happens AFTER the big send off that I don't want to talk about instead of before.  I have things to look forward to after that day.... 

How about those Olympics, huh?  .....


Thanks for stopping in, come again soon.  :D

Renovating The Walls of Your Mind...Step One: Declutter

If you've been reading this blog long, or if you know me personally, you know my mind pretty much never stops going.  Coach E says I think too much, but really, that's an understatement.  That's like saying there's too much water in the ocean...too much air in the sky...too much sand in the Sahara!!

But I think there's more to it than that.  Here's what I think...I think I not only think "too much" (okay...am I the only one who thinks that's funny?).  I also tend to think the wrong thoughts.  At least I HAVE been.  That is changing.

For a long time I have been slowly renovating my mind.  It's much like the process of remodeling an old house.  I have clutter to be sorted through.  I have old notions that need to be spruced and shined.  And I've had (have) false beliefs that had (have) to be discarded completely. 


Okay...let me just be honest, when I say "I have clutter that needs to be sorted through..." it's not like your average junk drawer, it's more like the hoarders you see on TV.   My mind is overflowing with thoughts

ALL THE TIME

and usually more than one at a time.  I have a hard time keeping things straight and a hard time easily retrieving needed information.

One of the main issues with mind clutter is that it makes it hard to remember workouts.  If I go to the pool and can't remember what I'm supposed to do, sure I can just swim for an hour, but I'm not making the best use of my time.  Also, when my mind is cluttered with all the different theories of nutrition and training out there, I get completely confused.  Do I eat carbs or not?  Do I run easy or hard?  To brick or not to brick?  Strength training should be done when?  Do I stretch before or after working out?  And the list goes on.

You have to be careful when cleaning out the clutter that you don't throw out a signed first edition of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (it was worth a lot of money back in 2006, according to this site) with the manual on the TV you had back in college.  (That sentence will make sense if you see the picture that goes with this post...)  Knowing what to treasure and what to toss is hard for someone who keeps everything that "might be" useful (to someone) one day.  (I mean come on, what if someone has that TV now and needs the manual??)  In training, this is why it's important for you to know yourself better than anyone, so you can make unequivocal decisions regarding workouts, nutrition, equipment, picking out races, etc.  Or you can find a coach you can TRUST who will help navigate you through all the information out there. 

A coach should give you no more than a couple of things to really focus on at a time. These nuggets of wisdom will be different for each athlete.  A far cry from doling out information like words on the page of a book, a coach is working with each athlete in a way which serves the person best (not in the way which best inflates the coach's ego).  It doesn't sound like "look what I can do"/"listen to how I do it"/"let me tell you how to do it the right way".  Instead it starts with something like, "for you the key will be..."  The workouts might all be the same for a group working toward the same race, but the coaching for each person will look different.  One athlete might need a good swift kick in the bike shorts, whereas another might need a gentle hug of reassurance. 

Swimming form doesn't vary....oh, wait, there are actually different philosophies regarding "the best way to swim".  Well, once you've sorted through all that information, and have found one you believe in, how it's learned can vary greatly.  Beyond that, what individual athletes need to focus on branches off even further (one needs to focus on speed, one on relaxing, one on POWER...). 

Before I signed on with the e3 Tribe (note the name change: e3Trivolution.com), I was trying to focus on everything all the time.  I didn't know what I needed to work on, when, or how.  There are MANY philosophies on EVERYTHING.  Sorting through clutter is a crucial step in any remodel job....but it's an on-going process.  Anyone who has been on a construction site knows how clutter can ruin a job. 

I'll bet you want to go clean out your junk drawer now don't you??  :D

Thanks for stopping in, come again soon.  (I still need to write up the post about Pigtails and the Mach Tenn swim....now I can add to the list parts two and three of this post.  So much writing to do, so little time!)

:D