Maybe I am, but, you don't get better by going easy.
Hold on now. I'm not going to beat myself up, but I am going to evaluate where I am and then set my intention for the future.
Let me be the first to say it...all things considered, I did well yesterday. I'm not disappointed with the results I got.
But, I'm also not satisfied. I want more/ to be better/to be faster. That's part of why I enjoy doing races. The racing part. The competition part. There is nothing wrong with competition. For some reason people want to make competitiveness a bad thing. It's not. It's not wrong to want to win a race. I don't want to win at the expense of others, in fact I want everyone to have their best day. And I want to have a better day than anyone else! Now, I'm smart enough to realize that there will always be women faster than me but that won't keep me from striving.
So...I'm going to evaluate what I did yesterday without a bat in hand. It's a matter of seeing what I need to do in the future in order to improve.
First up...let me be clear, I KNOW I just had surgery 6.5 months ago. The doctor and the physical therapist say it will be about a year before I'm completely healed. So, the first thing that has to happen is time. Yes, I get it....and in the mean time there are some things I can do.
I really struggled with swim endurance. I had speed that I've never had before. That was AMAZING. I know it's there. I have to train to increase the endurance with the speed. Although I slowed way down in the second half, knowing the speed is there is very encouraging, it's just a matter of training to hold it.
I am pleased with my bike performance. I think it would have been faster if the roads had been dry because I was a tiny bit timid. I need to work on jumping on the bike and getting off. I need to get a new battery in my power meter so I can actually use it. I need to climb HILLS to get STRONGER.
In order to make my run better, first of all, I need to get my iron levels up. I am supposed to be taking a supplement, but I don't like the way it makes my stomach feel (not to mention other things...if you've ever taken iron, you know what I mean). I have tried three different ones and dislike them all. I know of another kind to try so I'll try that one.
I also need to get this extra weight off. I do not enjoy the way my body feels when it's heavier. Ten pounds might not sound like a lot, until you put on a 10# vest and go run. Ten pounds is a lot of extra to carry. And I'll say this, it's not about a number, but how I feel. I'm not comparing myself to anyone else. I don't care how much anyone else weighs. I care about how I feel with this amount of weight on me. I have been enjoying food a lot more than I have been thinking long term. And it's the kind of food I've been having that hasn't been good for me. (A little dairy here, a little gluten there...) I have cared more about what I think I want NOW than what I know want later. The weight has to come off. At the same time I can't be so strict with it that I feel like I'm being deprived.
Overall, I have to modify some of my "goals". After surgery, I started out thinking I would be able to do Atomic Man the first weekend of September. I backed down to doing Rocket Man in August. It's not just the race distances that are a bit much, but I also have A LOT going on in my life. We had a water damage incident in my house and were without flooring or furniture in most of our house for 2 solid months. If you think that won't disrupt your life, you're WRONG! Everything we own is covered in concrete dust (it's sticky and heavy, not like normal dust). I've been at my max on adult athletes all summer, I've been coaching a kids team and a teen group at the Y, I've been teaching Spin 2-3 times a week, I've helped with two kids races this summer, and now, I'm directing a brand new kids triathlon at the end of August.
Ultimately my goal is to race Ironman Chattanooga in 2015, but I think I will only race three more sprints this year. This is not a backing down...this is a regrouping. I know I want to be fast. The best way to be fast is to work on being fast not work on going longer distances.
Finally, I have to get my life in better order. My house has been completely turned upside down since the first weekend of May. Talk about a life stressor! I'm going to actively work to get it put back together. There are only so many things one person can fill her time with. Not everything can be a number one priority. However, life isn't a list. It's more like spinning plates, or juggling. We can't just focus on one thing at a time until it's done. With that in mind I just want to keep all my plates in tact and my knives in the air, catching them only by the handles as planned! But...I do want to give attention to my house and make it a short term priority. Getting things clean and orderly will help me in the other areas.
So...with that in mind, I'm off to do some laundry! :D
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