I got all checked in yesterday. I got my uber cool Iron Man back pack, all the bags for all my gear, all the stickers I need to identify all my bags (darn it I forgot to bring duct tape*!). I bought an IMLT name shirt like the one I got at NOLA
I battled this horrible feeling that I don't belong in this place. Everyone looks like they belong (especially all the people running around in bike kits...). I can't explain why I feel the way I feel, and I KNOW it's wrong. So the battle is in my mind. That is unbelievably liberating. I have control of how I feel. It's not something that is being put on me. It's something that comes out of me. How I feel is a product of what I believe. I have control over that. No one else can change what I think. Other people can influence my thoughts, but only I have the power to accept or reject what is allowed to take space in my head.
So...I will start by saying...I have (almost) made it to the start line! I'm not as "ready" as I would like, but Daisy** made a good point the other day. She said no matter what I had done to prepare, what kind of shape my body was in, what bike gearing I had...no matter what...I would say I'm not as prepared as I would like to be.
Since I started "officially" training for this race (after the procedure I had to burn the nerves in my neck...) I
- biked 93 hours
- swam almost 20 hours
- have run 37.5 hours
(Not including some brick workouts and a couple of races.) For a race like this, that may not be a lot, but for my body, and for what it's been through in the last year...that IS a lot.
I AM READY. There is no doubt this race will be a challenge. I AM READY.
*A lot of people put colored duct tape on their bags -just like people do for their luggage- so they are more easily identified.
**BTW, Daisy has become so much more than a running partner, she is my best friend with whom I am so honored to get to "do life".