Balancing My Account

The Runner's World Daily "Kick in the Butt" quote yesterday said:

Games require skill. Running requires endurance, character, pride, physical strength, and mental toughness. Running is a test, not a game. A test of faith, belief, will, and trust in one's self. So hardcore that it needs a category all to itself to define the pain. When game players criticize, it's because they aren't willing to understand, not because they're stronger. Running is more than a sport; it's a lifestyle. If you have to ask us why we run, you'll never understand, so just accept. --Jessica Propst

I read this as I was getting ready to go run Cotton Row.   This quote came on the heels of Coach Eric's quotes on FaceBook:

If you want your dreams to come true you had better be prepared to work for them. Hard work pays off, doing nothing gets you nothing.

and

You are the catalyst needed to take your performance to the next level. DECIDE to push the next workout or the next 5 minutes, DECIDE that it's going to hurt and accept it gladly, DECIDE that you are in charge of your performance, DECIDE to be the athlete that you dream of being.

I knew the truth was I wasn't up for a "test" (especially one of my own will and belief), I hadn't prepared or worked and I had not made the necessary decisions prior to race day in order to be in charge of my performance, so I shifted my expectations on the front end of the race.  Doing this allowed me (probably for the first time) to NOT beat myself up (even in my mind) after the fact.

Here's the thing...I want a different race day experience.  You've heard it said crazy is doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome.  Well, in order to have a different experience, I know I have to do different things. 

Eric is right...I am the catalyst needed to take my performance to the next level.  My perceived ability is not the catalyst.  The main reason for that is how flawed my perception is regarding my ability.  Also, the whole POINT of training is to make ability better.  If I allow my flawed perception of my ability to determine what I do in training I am not going to push and will not ever be the athlete I dream of being.

Think of training as making deposits into an account.  The amount of the deposit is directly related to my effort and my adherence to the training plan (yes, it's also directly related to the quality of the plan, but I believe I have a top notch coach which equals a top notch plan so that is the constant in this equation).  The more effort I put into the workout and the more closely I follow the training plan  exactly as written, the more I will be depositing in my account. Side note...Following the plan "exactly as written" means easy is easy and hard is hard.  The more I deposit into my account, the bigger the withdrawal can be on race day.

Think of it like working on commission!  When you work on commission and there is only one constant (ie WHAT you are selling), you are completely in control of your pay check.  You can make excuses about it ("No one wants to by ice in Alaska, I can't sell it.") but the truth is you are in complete control (move to Arizona).  The one constant in this equation I've set up is the training plan (and even that could be changed if I didn't trust my coach...which I do).  All I have to do in order to have a big balance available to me on my next race day is to DECIDE to follow the plan exactly as written and to give everything I have in every workout.

Rather than making excuses for poor performance or for missing workouts I want to see what it would be like to give everything I have to the training process.  In the past I have settled for less.  I've given less in workouts because I've been tired or scared or lacking in confidence in my abilities.  Then on race day, in the back of my mind, I tell myself I have more to give, which sets me up to have a higher expectation of myself than what my training had prepared me to have.

I've seen other people do this...not train for a race and still do very well.  Other people can do it, but I haven't yet found the way to do this.  ((I think the reason other people can do it is because they've done the hard work at some other time in their lives and have confidence in their abilities or are willing to push HARD in a race and accept the consequences, like being really sore, afterward.))  I think I'm more of a "live within my means" kind of gal.  I have been burned by credit before so I like to know how I will pay for things before I buy them.  Yes, I'm talking about real money right now, but the same way of being transfers into athletic training as well.   Knowing how I am, how I think, helps me in all areas of my life.  Knowing I most likely won't push harder in a race than what I've prepared for in training tells me what I have to do--and it's NOT to expect myself to push harder in a race.

I have decided I want a different racing experience.  Instead of beating myself up after the fact because I didn't make a bigger withdrawal than what I had deposits to support...I'm going to make the necessary deposits each and every day in order to CASH THAT CHECK on race day without going into the red!


Thanks for stopping by, come again soon!!
:D

Managing Expectations

goofy pre-race pose

Memorial Day, for the third year in a row, means it's time for the Cotton Row 10K Race.  This is the only 10K race I've ever done (not including the 10K at the end of a triathlon).   Today wasn't a race though...I should really just call it a 10K event. 

Hold on...let me start by saying I feel "good" about today's results.  I mean I don't like what happened, but it's what I expected.  I got exactly the result I should have gotten for the training effort, planning and mental preparations I put forth.  Could I have done better?  Yes, I'm sure I could have.  How do I know?  I was talking and laughing the whole time.  I wasn't struggling most of the time.  I was very relaxed.  I left the race thinking I could probably go run another 10 miles fairly easily.  I came home, weeded the flower beds, mowed the lawn and didn't even feel like I had really worked out.  Did I get what I planned for?  Yes.  My plan was to keep my heart rate right at 170 the whole time (except for climbing Mountainwood), and I did just that. 

This is the third year I've run this course with out a strategy.  Not again.  Next year I will have a plan for how I want to RACE this event!  I know the course, I know how I run it.  I will prepare and I will blow my time out of the water.  Mark my words.

But...back to the race...I had a sinus infection all last week.  I finally went to the doctor and got a steroid shot and some meds on Thursday.  That would have been bad enough, but I woke up this morning with a rolling stomach.  Reading last year's recap, I see that was the case then, too, but I think for very different reasons.  Last year I attributed my stomach issues to nerves.  I can remember getting ready for the race the night before and being so anxious.  This year, I actually forgot to pick up my packet!  I went this morning to get it and ended up helping out because there was only one guy trying to get packets and tshirts for a growing number of participants!

Can you spot me?

After I left packet pick up I went to meet a friend of mine to warm up a bit.  I think we did about a half mile or so.  This is the first race I have ever done that I did not use the bathroom at the race site!!  I thought about it just before they started pre-race announcements, but by then it was too late.  I didn't really have to go, I just thought I should since I usually go at least twice before gun time!  The friend I warmed up with runs a lot faster than I do.  She wanted to run with someone, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep up with her so I told her she didn't need to wait on me. 

Looking back on it, there's a SLIM chance I might have been able to hang on to her but it would have hurt and I hadn't planned to, or expected to, hurt today.  I "wanted" to break an hour, but I also knew I had not been running a lot lately, I hadn't planned or trained, I hadn't prepared mentally...I hadn't made the "training deposits" necessary in order to expect to be able to make a "race withdrawal" in the amount of a sub-60:00 Cotton Row 10K!

I think part of why I get so upset with my results is that no matter what kind of training I have done, no matter what kind of preparations I have made, and no matter what I am mentally ready for, I expect to have a different outcome than what matches with reality.

Let me try to explain something I haven't quite put my finger on just yet...

Last year I didn't train to race a 10K, certainly not Cotton Row (it's not an easy course).  Somehow I expected to break an hour out of sheer will.  I had run a sub-30 5K but really beyond that I didn't have any training that would warrant realistically expecting a sub-60 Cotton Row result and yet, I did.  I hadn't planned mentally, I didn't have a race strategy, I just thought I could go run and get to the finish in under an hour.  My blog post says I was happy with the result, but that's not the way I remember it.  I remember feeling mostly okay at the finish, disappointed, but okay.  But as time went on, I was more and more upset over that stinking 24 seconds...thinking about all of the things I could have done on race day to have had a better outcome.

I have noticed that I go into races with a certain set of stated expectations, and another set of unspoken ones.  I may meet my stated expectations (which usually match up with reality fairly well), but when I don't meet my unspoken set of desires for myself I am upset (if you know me you know that's the case pretty much all the time).

right before I tossed my water bottle

I honestly think today is the first time both sets of expectations matched...not only each other but also with reality.  I wanted to break an hour, but I didn't think that was realistic, all things considered.  Could I have done it?  Sure...I was only 20 seconds off.  There are any number of things I could have done differently.  Am I upset that didn't happen?  No...how can I be?  I did what I did, there's no reason to be upset.  I truly feel like I got out what I put in.  I didn't train, I didn't plan, I didn't prepare, I didn't meet my hope of breaking an hour.  I also didn't hurt, I didn't ever think I couldn't finish.  I didn't ever want to quit.  I felt great the whole time.  (Well...there was one time I didn't feel great...I was carrying a water bottle I barely used.  As soon as I tossed it to my sweet husband at mile 5ish my mouth went completely dry and cottony...I almost panicked, but realized very quickly that was silly and stopped that nonsense!)

I will say as soon as I finished the race and realized I missed breaking an hour by 20 seconds I was VERY UPSET....but only for a few minutes.  After I thought about it I decided there was no reason for those feelings.  I had a good time and my result matched what I had trained and planned for.

The key for me is to put in the training and planning...and, I'm certain I'll get exactly the result I should!

Stats: 

• 2010 -- 1:18:23 (gun time) 86/100 age group and 1920/2048 overall
• 2011 -- 1:00:24 (chip time) 39/111 age group and 930/1878 overall
• 2012 -- 1:00:20 (chip time) 40/125 age group and 1076/2013 overall

headed to the finish line

Next up...Mach Tenn long sprint tri this coming Saturday.  I'm not sure what to expect, but I'm sure I'll have a plan!  :D

Thanks for stopping in, come again soon!

I'm so excited!!  I'm going to be heading up a beginner tri training group for the YMCA!  I know many of you would have to commute by plane to get here, but I think it's going to be worth it!  :D

It's going to be an 11 week training group geared toward beginners.  There are actually two goal races.  The Soggy Seal on August 4th (after 9 weeks of training) and the Huntsville Sprint Tri.

We'll meet on Wednesday and Thursday nights 5:30-6:30pm and then on Saturday mornings (we'll have to determine the time at our first meeting).  You don't have to be a member of the Y to join, and you don't have to come to every session.  I'll be giving training plans, coaching, tips and ENCOURAGEMENT all along the way.   If you've ever thought about doing a triathlon--now is your chance to make that thought a reality!!  Call the Y (256-883-9622) today to sign up-space is limited!   And, tell your friends! :D

Thanks for stopping in...I'll be telling you more about this in the weeks to come!
:D