Love Myself

Mark 12:31 tells me I am to "love your neighbor as yourself."  

I remember the first time I heard that verse. I asked the question "but what if I hate myself? 

It wasn't a rhetorical question. I was serious.

I've worked hard since that time to love my neighbor but loving myself isn't nearly as easy.

My husband HATES when people say "you have to love yourself" but I ask him every time we get into the discussion ....what about that verst? It implies that you need to love yourself first. He always says that is not what the verse means.

I think he's wrong. I think the verse assumes that we DO love ourselves more than we love others. We put ourselves first, we think of ourselves first, we care for ourselves first...

But what if we don't...

I recently had a very dear friend tell me I need to love myself more. This friend said "I'm going to check in with you once a week to make sure you are doing something each week to that end."

This is my report for this past week:

Things I did to love ME...

I made/went to a therapy appointment.
I invited A LOT of people to a "We'll be seeing you" party* so I could get and give hugs.
I bought myself a bike that I really wanted but really did NOT need!
I made sure to eat...this seems crazy but I have been really busy so eating has taken a back seat on some days.
I wrote in my journal.
I found a new therapist in Michigan*.

By the way, if you know me in real life...*we are moving to Michigan in about 10 days!!!!! If you know me well, check your Facebook event invites because chances are high that you were invited to the party.

Hold on, we are going on a ride.....

Road to Nice-Week 1 Training Update

 I started training this week...I don't have a plan yet, that's coming, but I started laying the ground work. I want to keep track of how I'm feeling throughout this year and this is just as good a place as any.

Monday was a FULL day because I was subbing spin for 2 classes (9:30am and Noon) plus teaching my own 5:30am spin class and my 8am Aqua class. I threw in some Hotworx stretching. I had planned on going super easy for the 3rd spin class but once I got warmed up I hit it pretty hard. I was feeling pretty good.

Dwayne came home from work early Monday not feeling well so I decided to spend the night in the guest room! He then woke up Tuesday with a fever! I did yoga at home and then went to the pool for a mile swim. 

I'm treating myself like a brand new swimmer. I have been struggling with my swim since the brain disease. I don't know how but I really think it's related somehow...but I've decided that I CAN and I WILL overcome this issue. I just have to swim MORE. I just have to really finalize a training schedule because it does NOT work for me to swim on Monday/Wednesday/Friday before or after Aqua class because either way I'm WORN OUT to the point that either my swim suffers or my class suffers.

I ended up taking Dwayne to urgent care. They tested him for the flu, covid and strep throat. They were all negative but they told him he surely had one of the big three. So I slept in the guest room again...but work up Wednesday with a fever! UGH I got a sub for Aqua and cancelled my noon Spin class and slept pretty much all day. Thursday I ran a mile with Dwayne-we were both feeling MUCH better. The pace was just over 10min with a fast finish (5:30 pace). And we both felt good afterward. It must have been some kind of 24hr bug.

Friday I swam a mile, taught Aqua, then did Hotworx yoga and taught Spin again. I'm pretty sure my BP was down after all of that because I really didn't feel great. This morning it was down to 95/66...

This morning I got my trainer all set up (which took a while) and started the IMNice course....HOLY CRAP...within the first like 5 miles it got up to a 10.8% grade climb!! I am not quite strong enough for that yet. (Not to mention the trainer is inside and we don't have the fans set up yet!) I skipped over to the part that starts going down hill for just a little bit. That was much better!!

Dwayne bought me a VERY NICE new bike that should help me climb better!! It came in this week. I'm a little scared to ride it. At the same time I'm so stinking excited to get on that bike I can hardly wait! They should get it built the first part of the week. 

I've also started losing weight. 

My plan is to get in the best shape of my life this year.🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

Thank you Lord for giving me this opportunity!

Thanks for sticking around! :D

Running in the Park

When I heard the run was at a place called Shelby Farm I don't know why but I thought the run would be mostly flat. Looking back I can't even understand why I thought that. Friends had run a relay out there and had told me it wasn't flat. AND the course description on the website says "rolling" so who knows WHY I would have thought it was going to be more flat...

The training runs I did leading up were thankfully NOT flat. I didn't run quite enough miles leading up to race day, but at least I had been running...some...

My highest volume week was 20 miles at the beginning of September and my average was only 9 a week...but at least I was running...some...

My plan for the run was to run 3 minutes/walk 1 minute...the whole time...no matter what the elevation...

And I did that!

For twelve minutes...and then I walked extra at the aid station...and went to the bathroom (even though I had gone just a few minutes before, as I was leaving T2...). Then the negotiations started...I did run more than I expected that I might, but I was on the struggle bus for sure.

I LOVED the course for spectators....I had six people who came out to watch me, and there were 2 friends who were doing the relay that were done with the swim and bike who were out on the course watching, along with 3 other friends who were there watching their runner and other friends who was doing the whole thing.

The course winds through Shelby Farms in an interesting way...If you imagine a clock face...you leave T2 and run clockwise around the lake from "noon to noon"... then clockwise around the upper part of the park from "six to six"...then it goes counterclockwise in an inner circle from "six to six"...then you repeat the whole thing. Spectators have A LOT of opportunities to see their athlete. My sweet friends spread out all over the park so it felt like I was constantly seeing people I knew! It. Was. AWESOME! Not to mention the aid stations were all high energy. On top of that, the intersection where the course came back to a point (noon for the lower clockface and six for the upper clockfaces) was SUPER PACKED with people!

As if that wasn't enough, the course was BEAUTIFUL...truly fantastic...AND...there was on section that they had dedicated to St Jude (who the race was raising money for). They had "before" and "after" banners of patients who treated there.

I SOBBED the first time ...okay, and the second time...

Early on I came upon a guy from Huntsville whose kids participated in my kids triathlon (Kids Fly Tri). I ran with him for just a bit. He really made my day by telling me his kids loved it so much they did (or maybe just his son did) another triathlon the next month! That put some pep in my step!

With only a few miles to go I saw the friend I started the swim with and another Huntsville Ironman who was doing the race...they were off the course with Dwayne....I was STRUGGLING as I was running toward them. I had resorted to counting time (3 minutes is 180 seconds so I would start counting as I would start running 180, 179...and try to get to 0...even if I counted fast...even if I slowed down....it didn't always work but I know it had me running more than I would have otherwise!). When I saw them I heard them say something about how I looked strong. But I thought they had finished and had time to have their post race snack and they were rested enough to be out on the course cheering on friends! I realized not long after that they were just stopped taking a breather....they were still working on finishing the run! That made me feel MUCH better about my time.

See, back in June when training was going REALLY WELL I had set an A goal for myself of 6:30. I honestly felt at the time it might be possible to even get down to 6:15! But for some reason after the end of July the wheels sort of fell off the wagon so my A goal had revised. Realistically I was thinking 6:45-7:00. When I started the run I really felt that goal time was solidly doable.

But, as I mentioned before, I was a little behind on nutrition when I got off the bike. I didn't have a SOLID plan for nutrition on the run other than I planned to take Gatorade at every station and a gel at every third station. I was going to drink Coke when I felt completely empty and keep drinking it after that point.

The only issue was that I didn't feel like eating the gels when I was supposed to, Gatorade really stopped tasting good and I resorted to Red Bull instead of Coke way too early...

But, I kept doing the math and kept thinking 7:00 was doable...until the last maybe quarter.

October 4, 2023...I don't know why I never finished this post but it's been over a year. I wish I could remember the end better....I just remember passing two friends from HSV who were also racing. I thought they had finished so I whizzed by thinking what a slug I was...only to find out later that they had not finished yet-they were still working their way to the finish line....

I also remember how strong I felt. Even with a 7:05 finish (28th by the way...which is VERY FUNNY since I just wrote my IMChoo 23 report...I finished 28th there, and 28th at IMChoo 15!! I will be THRILLED to pieces if I finish 28th at Worlds!!

I didn't LOVE the bike course at Memphis, but I think that was a matter of expectation. I expected it to be the glorious rollers like Chatty has-that is the BEST BIKE COURSE EVER-but it was what I would call "hilly". Not hard climbs, but rollers ROLL into the next climb so you get momentum from one to the next. Hilly means you climb, descend, ride flat a bit and then repeat. Plus the road was rough. The run was super fun being contained in Shelby Farm. You get to see people the whole time! I'd definitely do this one again.

Thanks for sticking with me!!