21--It's all a matter of perspective...

WHAT I DID

I finally did it!!  I went somewhere else to run!!  The picture might not look like much...but it was a really nice greenway near my house.  I ended up going 2.75 miles in about 33 minutes.  My calves are still giving me problems...but I also didn't use the stick today just before the run.  I used it early this morning, but not JUST before I went out like I did last time.  

((BTW, I'm NOT one of these people who can "connect the dots" between what I do and the results I get.  I tend to be one of those people who insanely continue to do the wrong thing hoping to get different results....hence the need for me to continually repeat the same things until I make changes...))

WHAT I LEARNED

I started out fairly strong, but after running a couple of minutes, my calves were really hurting (cough..excuse...cough)...and I started SCREAMING at myself-in my head, lest anyone within earshot realize my insanity...  And then I remembered Jaime's advice.  I shifted my focus from what a crappy runner I am...what a loser I am that I can't run more than TWO minutes without complaining...how I'm never going to make my marathon goal...how I'm a big fat whiney butt...   to Romans 5:3-5 (NAS)

³And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; ⁴and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; ⁵and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

I'll save all my in-depth thoughts on that passage for a post on my other blog (eventually).   But, the outcome of today's rulk was that discipline without grace and love is just harsh legalism.  Screaming all those negative thoughts at myself in my head won't help me go faster or farther....and doing that on a continual basis will only make me forget the whole reason I'm out there in the first place.  So, I stopped yelling at myself, and I started looking around at the beautiful scenery.  Instead of thinking I'm a big loser for not doing MORE, I started appreciating what I am doing....and what it's doing in me.



It turned out to be a good day...when viewed from the right perspective!

((By the way, that first picture was just an accident, but I thought it was a good illustration....Yes, I'm completely aware how corny it is...but hopefully someone gets it without me spelling it all out.......  Maybe??))

 

  

WHAT I'M GOING TO DO

Again, USE THE STICK BEFORE I RUN!!  STICK with the plan.  STOP beating myself up with a STICK.  

Tomorrow I start with my running group!!  I'm so excited about this.  I was told I'd be with a group that is about my same ability level (thank goodness they recruited from the local nursing home!).  I'm hoping it will prove to be an encouragement and not just more fodder for my internal critic!

USE THE STICK.  USE THE STICK.  USE THE STICK.  ......

Thank you for stopping in, come again soon!!

:D 

20...I will NOT quit.

WHAT I DID

I used "the stick" for five minutes on each calf before I went out today....then I rulked 3.35 miles in 43 minutes (including my 10 minute warm up and a five minute cool down).  My average speed was 4.7 mph which is an increase.  The whole time I had to remind myself ...TELL myself... I am not a quitter.  I don't want to be a quitter.  I will not be a quitter.  (More about this in the bottom section.)

One section of my run was on a road that has a bunch of little cypress (maybe cedar) trees planted an equal distance apart.  I started running at the start and told myself to run to the end (maybe 1/5 a mile).  I immediately wanted to quit so I started counting the trees and kept telling myself "just one more" until I made it to the end.

At 31 minutes, I was at the end of my street.  I had just told myself I would not quit, but seeing my house I thought it would be perfectly acceptable for me to finish my rulk since I was originally only supposed to go 30 minutes under the plan I started with.  I felt like the biggest quitter.  My neighbors were all out working in their yards and I imagined them all saying to me, "You're a quitter!!"  Never mind they had no idea how far I'd been or how long I'd been out there...never mind they would NEVER say that to me...  So I pushed myself and kept going.  I am SO GLAD I DID.

WHAT I LEARNED

I love my new shoes!!  No shin splints today!  They are not like running on pillows which is what I would prefer, but they do what they were designed to do--give my fee the support they need.

I am lazy.  Yes, it's true and I admit it as much as I'd like to deny it.  (More about this in the next section.)

I need to drink more water.  My mouth felt like a ball of cotton about 15-20 minutes in.

I can CERTAINLY do more than I think I can. 

WHAT I AM GOING TO DO

I have said it before, but I haven't done it yet---I am going to go somewhere else to run.  I don't think it will make me not want to quit, but I THINK it will make it a little harder since my house won't be right there.  Another idea I has was to have my husband drive me out about 3-5 miles and drop me off.  I'd be forced to finish then!!

I was telling my husband about how I was feeling and he said he thought running had lost the appeal to me.  That's just not true.  I really love it.  I love the way it makes me feel.  I think about it all the time--even now just an hour after my internal debate, where I had to force myself not to quit, I wish I was still out there.  I long for the day when I can go out and run for hours.  But, the thing is, I'm LAZY.  This is something that's going to take work for me to do.  I can't just go out and do what I want to do.....it's going to REQUIRE perserverance--something I've been short on my whole life.  I can act like I can do anything I put my mind to...but the truth is when what I put my mind to gets hard, I decide to change what I've put my mind to doing!!  

I'm going to ACT IN ACCORDANCE WITH A DECISION I'VE ALREADY MADE---to keep running...to keep training for the marathon...to keep remembering this is a goal I made for me....to keep seeing myself crossing the finish line... 

Most of all, I'm going to win the race against myself.  I can do it.  I will do it.

Thanks for stopping in, come again soon!!

:D

19...Did I Say "Every Day"??

WHAT I DID

The good thing about blogging my runs...accountability.  The bad thing about blogging my runs...accountability.  I admit it, I skipped a day.  I spent the better part of yesterday reading blogs and writing not one but TWO posts on my other blog.  I guess I'll use the excuse that my calves were KILLING ME...and although that is actually the truth, it really is an excuse for not doing what I had already decided I would do (run every day).  And, I think I am going to stick with ever other day until next week when I'll get the new plan from the running group I joined.

So, today, with calves that were unwilling to get with the program, I went 2.8 miles in a walk/hobble/jog that took about 35 minutes.  (Yes, another of my "goals" that I backed down on--to go for 45 minutes total.)  Today was a "something is better than nothing" kind of training day.  This was the most painful day I've had.  I was THRILLED to make it through a somewhat decent, albeit babystep, "walun" (more walk than run).  (Yes, I'm a whiney baby--I own it--but at least I got out there; I did push myself much harder than I would have in the past.)

WHAT I LEARNED

1) Something IS better than nothing.  

2) Most importantly...I went to Fleet Feet and found out not only have I been running on just about "the worst shoe" (according to the guy who helped me), they are a size too small!!  I thought they were pretty good shoes, but after watching a video of my stride and then being fitted with a better shoe, I can see that I was wrong!!  So, I bought a new pair of Saucony Hurricanes...and some killer inserts.  I can't wait to try them out (day after tomorrow!!)

3)  My calves are hurting because I have shin splints.  I used to get them on the outside of my shins, so I didn't think that was the problem (since my pain is on the inside of my calves).  As it turns out, that's exactly what's going on.  My darling husband (who used to be a star cross country runner back in the day) gave me some exercises to try.  I also bought something called The Stick that is supposed to help with "trigger points" (much like the foam roller, but smaller).

WHAT I'M GOING TO DO

1)  USE MY NEW SHOES!!  

2)  Use the stick-several times a day, but especially before and after my runs.  

3)  Do the exercises my hubby suggested, along with some suggested by the trainer I worked with a while back.

Thanks for stopping in, come again soon!

:D