And I got it.
Because I had not been running and then ramped up my volume and intensity too quickly, I spent most of the training time fighting off a nagging "injury". I think it's in my nature to love the idea of a challenge. But follow through and staying committed to hard work in the face of obstacles was not in my nature. Training for and completing that first Cotton Row was a huge accomplishment for me. I didn't HAVE to do this hard thing but I did it even in the face of adversity.
It's been the only race I've run EVERY SINGLE YEAR since I starting running. I don't know that I'd call it my "favorite" race. (I'm partial to McKay Hollow 25K, and even though I've only done it once, Mountain Mist 50K, but all the races I've done have been really very good.) But Cotton Row holds a special place in my heart.
I have been really struggling this year to lose the weight I've put on (thanks in large part to being on steroids oner a year), and to regain any measure of fitness. I've tried some various things, but if I'm being totally honest, my running has just continued to slide down hill. Part of that is lack of consistency in getting out there to run. But a bigger issue is that when I do try to have any kind of "plan" I end up exhausted and completely run down. So I've taken the path of VERY SLOW progression of fitness rather than "training". I assess pretty much daily where I'm at and I am not stressing over where I am at physically right now.
I've started working out at Orange Theory Fitness-which I LOVE LOVE LOVE. It's close, they have class times that fit into my crazy schedule, the workouts are different every single day, and it's one hour of HIIT. The intervals are agreeing with me but I can scale on days I need to. I never feel like I'm in competition with anyone other than myself. I can say that I've done more actual running in OTF than I have in the months before I started there, but it's still VERY LIMITED in terms of volume.
On top of all that, Dwayne and I had both hurt our hip (he was sprinting up some stairs at work and I failed to listen to my body at OTF!) and we had been sick with nasty colds for three weeks!
Because of all that my expectations were EXCEPTIONALLY low going into Cotton Row this year. I figured I'd just get out there and run/walk by feel and enjoy the day.
Since Dwayne was feeling better he decided to try to actually run the race and said he'd come back to get me when he was done. I lined up further back than I ever had before and chatted with a friend.
The race had a new director this year and she did an AMAZING job of revamping the opening ceremonies!! Instead of lining up at 7:50 and then not actually starting until like 8:20, she had the Memorial Day ceremony at 7:45 (ish?) and then we started running right at 8. The comments were brief but appropriate and they set a perfect tone for the run. When the gun went off it took a minute or so for me to reach the start mat and then I slowly started jogging. I pretty much jogged flats and downs and then walked any uphill parts. I found some people to chat with here and there along the way and then something wonderful happened!
We played a little leap frog until the hill...I think that's when she got ahead of me and I never saw her again. Just before the hill Brother caught me and threw two cups of water on my back! We walk/ran together until the hill and he left me to run up it (good for him!). My goal this year was to keep walking and not stop!! I made my goal!! (Barely.) I did get a little light headed and my vision started getting a little squirrelly but I am 100% positive that was a blood sugar thing.
I had been eating a lower carb diet the last couple of weeks (trying to get this weight off) but decided to take carbs in during the race. I had taken a Gu just before Brother caught me. That probably spiked my blood sugar. I wasn't dizzy or anything I was just seeing some stars and had some spots I just couldn't see. It's happened to me before (MANY times actually) and it's totally normal from what I understand. It's sort of like this picture, but not totally.
Even though I know what it is, every time it happens I get a little scared. It's like when you are watching an intense movie, you can tell when something is about to jump out at you but you jump when it happens anyway! As I passed by a HEMSI guy I almost stopped to have him check my blood sugar but I decided to keep moving.
We got down to the bottom of the hill and I started struggling. The down hill part was mostly over and the work was ramping up. Brother was talking but I was not really in a mood to talk nor was I really in a place to be able to make conversation. I had stopped interacting with spectators and had stopped telling volunteers thank you. It was sad because those things usually help "refuel" me but I was hitting a place where all I can really do is just focus on moving forward.
I never wanted to quit and I didn't really want it to be over. But I was just strongly internally focused on what needed to be done...one foot in front of the other. Brother told me swirly shirt was up ahead of us and was surely catchable but I didn't care at that point. I told him to please go on because I knew I was slowing him down. But he refused and continued to try to distract me.
It's strange. I can't describe what happened to me. I didn't really want or need distraction. I actually enjoyed the difficulty of the work. I think if I had been completely alone I would have been able to find that place inside myself that is willing to be uncomfortable which would have allowed me to move along "faster". But it was also nice having someone on the journey. Somewhere along the way we saw Dwayne coming back. He had finished and backtracked to come find me. Brother left me to go catch swirly shirt (and a race walker he has a rivalry with).
I was trying to explain the place I was in to Dwayne but I just couldn't put it into words. I still can't. When we turned onto Clinton I was a little sad that it was about to be over. All the flag bearers with the pictures of the fallen soldiers always hits me pretty hard but it seemed there were more out there this year.
At some point a woman in YOGA PANTS passed me!! I told Dwayne I couldn't believe I was getting passed by yoga pants!! He told me I could catch her if I wanted to. I didn't believe him but it gave me something to work for so I started after her. I was able to totally put every other sound and sensation completely out of my perception as I slowly gained on her. I knew I couldn't kick too early because I truly felt like I might pass out, but I knew I had to kick if I was going to catch her so with about 50 yards to go I poured out every bit of effort I had in me...and I got within about 2 feet of her! (And I did NOT pass out!!)
My Garmin says I picked up pace from walking when she passed us (17:38 pace) down to a 6:15 pace!! I have never felt the way I did at the end of this race. I can't describe it. But I liked it. My mind kept saying "you are going to pass out" but my body didn't feel like that. My body felt mostly strong. I felt in control of my limbs more than usual. I think the difference was how strong my mind was (is). My mind was telling my body to do something and it was responding. I think that's a very good sign.
Now...that was such a tiny part of the race I'm not going to get excited. I had a lot in the tank because it was my slowest CRR ever (1:25!) and I walked A LOT. But I felt GREAT afterward and I felt great yesterday and today. Like I didn't even run! I attribute a lot of that to the lower carb diet. (I indulged after the race but only for the day.)
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| Just ignore all the open tabs...I have a lot going on right now! :D |
Overall I am EXTREMELY pleased. I ended up with a 13:31 pace which is MUCH faster than I expected to be. I think that has A LOT to do with the fitness I'm gaining at OTF...and I've only been able to workout there because I started this year working out with Joe at Huntsville Adventure Boot Camp. It's all a progression. A very LONG progression. But I don't actually feel like I'm sliding further in a hole anymore.
It honestly feels like I'm making actual progress. The effort it's taking still feels completely out of proportion, but at least I don't feel like I'm expending all this energy only to slide slower than I would if I weren't making the effort at all. Does that make sense?
Thanks for stopping by and sticking around!!! Time to get some work done so I can close some of these tabs!!
:D
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